When clients in my groups say things like this, I often highlight the care-taking by exaggerating it. “You’re right. They probably can’t handle that. How could you do that to them? The only reasonable and honorable thing to do is to stay with her. Eventually you should marry her and have children.” This often makes them laugh and smile, and breaks the care-taker trance. But our work is far from done. Even if they see it’s absurd, and that it’s in their best interest to break up, they feel oppressive amounts of guilt and waves of I’m-a-bad-person-ness.
