How To Fight

by Thich Nhat Hanh

Suppose someone has made you suffer a lot. You may believe that you are the only one who suffers and that the other person is thoughtless or vindictive and that’s why they made you suffer. But if you have the time and patience to look deeply, you will recognize the suffering in the other person. Because that person does not know how to handle their own suffering, they remain the first and biggest victim of their suffering. You are only victim number two.

One person’s suffering represents the suffering of the world. If you can help one person, you help the whole world.

The Buddha told a story of an acrobatic master and his pupil. They went to the market every day to give a performance. The man held a bamboo pole, and the little girl climbed very high up the bamboo pole. One day the master said, “My child, let us take good care of each other. I’ll take care of you and you take care of me, and that way we can both be safe and stay alive while we perform and earn our living.” The young girl replied, “But master, I see it differently. I think that if I take good care of myself and you take good care of yourself then we’ll both be safe, able to support each other, and to continue making a living.” The little girl understood the true nature of interbeing. There is no discrimination, no separation. When you take good care of yourself, you are taking care of the other person. Looking after ourselves means looking after others. How do we look after ourselves? By practicing mindfulness. By knowing what is going on in our body and mind. We bring our mind home to our body and establish ourselves firmly in the present moment. We bring our awareness to our breathing and relax our body.

“Hello, my emotion. I know you are there. I will take care of you.” Practice mindful, deep, abdominal breathing.