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Kindle Notes & Highlights
You know that kind of day where the printer runs out of paper, and there’s none in the supply room, so you try to steal some from the copier, but you can’t get the drawer open, and then you push some wrong button and the copier starts beeping? And you’re standing there thinking that whoever invented copy machines is this close to getting their ass kicked? By you?
I believe in love at first sight. Fate, the universe, all of it.
“That’s a big package.” And . . . shit. The words tumble out. “I don’t mean package. Just. Your box. Is big.” I hold my hands apart to demonstrate. Because apparently that’s the way to prove it’s not an innuendo. By spreading my hands out dick-measuringly.
“Stop seeing past my bullshit, it’s my bullshit.”
“On the sad scale, how are you feeling today?” Dylan asks. “Opening-montage-of-Up sad? Or Nemo’s-mom-dying sad?” “Whoa, no. Definitely not opening-montage-of-Up sad. That shit was devastating. I’d guess I’m somewhere in between, like last-five-minutes-of-Toy-Story-3 sad.
Oh, yes, the Pixar sad scale.
“Well,” Juliet says, “at least he’s giving it a shot. Arthur, you want to have sex with this guy in a mailbox again, right—” “That is not a thing. Mailbox sex is not a thing.”
“I’m a hugger,”
Hisssssss
“No no no. God no. You have to play it cool, Art. Not too cool. But a little cool,” says the man wearing an apron with a picture of a flash drive and the words Back that thing up.
But Arthur? I barely know him. I guess that’s any relationship. You start with nothing and maybe end with everything.
Maybe I’m just incurably self-centered.
You are, but you’re young and maybe your Ritalin dose needs upped. 😅
The good news is that Charizard can really fucking dance.
“Ben, this is Namrata and Juliet.” “The legendary Ben,” Juliet says. “The daily drama behind the fucking Shumaker files never getting done,” Namrata says, shaking my hand.
Ben-Jamin.
Soooo glad for the audiobook so I didn’t spend the whole thing reading this like "been jammin."
“That’s not . . . how dicks work.”
Jessie smiles wetly,
??
