What If It's Us (What If It's Us #1)

by Becky Albertalli

By a five-foot-six Jewish kid with ADHD and the rage of a tornado?

Let's pray that Becky isn't Kanye and Simon isn't Graduation

And then he catches my eye. And then he smiles. And holy shit. I mean it. Holy mother of shit.

She made simon, right? She has to be a good author

But twenty points to Gryffindor, because I manage to smile up at him.

At least Simon was a zoomer in his book, so there was none of this...

“Better be . . . GAY!!!!!!” *cue cheers and rainbow flag waving from Hudson of Gay House*

Its impossible to tell if they're 35 or 18 because they dont sound like they were born in 2000

sixteen with no medical training.

???????????????????????

Or my even sadder crush on Jessie’s very slightly younger brother.

Why is it worded like this

She can be the Hermione in our trio. Dibs on Harry.” “But that means I’m Ron.” “Sucks for you.” “Ron ends up with Hermione.”

CANONICALLY 2000 BORN BTW BUT SHE MADE SIMON

I can’t tell if Dylan is my wingman or competition.

Saw ur poster, I’m not your boy but good luck! OMG this is so romantic & the boy in the pic is so hot wow

Fujoshi representation in big 2018!!!!

Look, do you want to just call me? I think maybe that would work better.

Learned a few things from Simon huh

almost-seventeen-year-old

Canonically 2002 born... He does not act like one

“I’ve never given thought to Bugs Bunny or Puss in Boots having sex . . . And now I’m thinking about them having sex with each other . . .”

Dismal. She made Simon though!

I brought my date somewhere I used to come with my ex-boyfriend.

Who wouldve kathunk it???????

Dad’s on the couch, drinking coffee with the news on mute. “Why are we watching the orange guy?” I ask, sinking into the cushion beside him.

Fujoshi tier writing

“Did you just buy my underage date an alcoholic beverage and then ask for his number?”

Señor Aubrey Graham ass plot

“Nope. Hudson and I never came here.”

Insane gambit by mister ben hugo alejo

My first kiss. Followed by the loss of my virginity in some quiet, starlit field.

The fujoshi stench is strong with this one

I have only said one word on this call—a call I made—and I’m already ready to settle into another few hours of Arthur rambling. It’s better than my favorite Lorde and Lana Del Rey songs.

I have only read 50% of this book—a book I chose to read—and I’m not ready to settle into another few hours of delusional pain. It’s worse than my favorite Lil Mabu and Tom Macdonald songs.

“We’re called Hamilfans, actually.”

a dozen pages of horrific slop

Parents: *showering us with condoms* HELLO, BOYFRIEND BEN!!!

What in the ever living

I spend 99 percent of my waking hours thinking about how I’d like to spend 99 percent of my waking hours having sex with Ben.

AT LEAST SHE MADE SIMON

“But not enough. You don’t care enough.” I stare at him, heart pounding. “Maybe I should care less.”

Forced artificial drama yay!!

“FYI, it’s hard to unbutton buttons when your hands are shaking,”

NOOOOOOOOO WHY A SEX SCENE

“So we try again another day. No big deal.”

YES saved by the bell

“I tried to say something, but it just got harder and harder and looked worse and worse the longer I took and—”

Third act breakup time

Just me and you tomorrow, Obama.

Polar bear in arlington texas

“What do you think Barack’s doing today to celebrate?” Ben asks. “Oh, he’s having a party, for sure. Michelle’s organizing it, the girls are there, obviously Biden’s there, and Trudeau. And maybe Lin-Manuel Miranda? Okay, and Ben Platt, probably Tom Holland, too, and obviously Daveed Diggs and Jonathan Groff. Maybe Mark Cuban?”

??????????????????????????????????????

“Barack and Trudeau.” He kisses me again. “With Joe watching wistfully.” “So wistfully.”

I ran out of question marks

“This is huge. Three couples in one room. This feels like the Fellowship of the Wedding Rings.”

This is what MCU haters think MCU dialogue is like