What If It's Us (What If It's Us #1)

by Becky Albertalli

I just think you’re meant to meet some people. I think the universe nudges them into your path.

It’s weird—now I want to prove it. I want some gay ID card to whip out like a cop badge. Or I could demonstrate in other ways. God. I would happily demonstrate.

Playing The Sims would be way easier if I had an upgraded laptop.

“Better be . . . GAY!!!!!!” *cue cheers and rainbow flag waving from Hudson of Gay House*

And I let Jonathan Groff drown them out. Because that’s what cute boys are for.

The coffee shop smells like pretentious writers who would hate the stuff I write.

I’m certain that I’m 100 percent gay because if I was even 1 percent bisexual I would be crushing hard on Samantha for looks and high energy alone. Dylan watches Samantha as if she were glowing, and I wonder when I went dim for Hudson. If I ever really glowed for him at all.

The classic honeymoon stage where everyone feels like they’re riding a unicorn on floating rainbows while drinking Skittle smoothies. But eventually you realize the unicorn was just a horse in costume and now you have cavities.

I guess that’s any relationship. You start with nothing and maybe end with everything.

It’s this strangling fear that we’ll be sitting there and we’ll run out of something to say and I’ll be able to witness the exact moment someone falls out of love with me because I don’t have enough substance to keep a conversation alive over a meal. Why would you want to talk to me for the rest of your life?

“God, Arthur.” He kisses me. “Te quiero. Estoy enamorado. You don’t even know.”

But maybe this isn’t how life works. Maybe it’s all about people coming into your life for a little while and you take what they give you and use it on your next friendship or relationship. And if you’re lucky, maybe some people pop back in after you thought they were gone for good. Like Hudson and Harriett.

“I love you, Arthur,” I say. Arthur turns to me. “Te amo . . . too, Ben.”

He kisses me, and I just gaze at his face. I’m pretty sure I’d be happy devoting the rest of my life to kissing each and every Ben freckle. I’m pretty sure he can tell.

“I love you, Ben.” “Te amo too, Arthur.”

One picture sparks summer memories and I don’t feel empty. I feel like I’m breathing in hope.

The universe wouldn’t get us together for just one summer, right?