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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Grey Freeman
Read between
December 2 - December 9, 2021
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, what else are you going to have to do?
Now you can start the day knowing that you can still be surprised, but you can’t be shaken.
To what inappropriate impression have you assented?
What virtue have you lacked to allow this disharmony into your “inner citadel”?
People do not choose to behave the way they do so that men of a certain type should behave as they do is inevitable.
On any given day, you will meet a few jerks. Similarly to “Prepare for Battle”, it’s best to anticipate that and remove the sting of surprise.
Consider how you will preserve your serenity and remain above the fray.
Admit that you have your faults, too, and sometimes you hide them better than other times.
Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it is easier to maintain control.
Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing. Things in our power are by nature free, unhindered, untrammelled; things not in our power are weak, servile, subject to hindrance, dependent on others. Remember then that if you imagine that what is naturally slavish is free, and what is naturally another's is your own, you
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But the results of your efforts are largely not under your control. You can do everything right and prudent and still not be rewarded. You can study extensively and still be considered a fool. You can work like a mule and still be poor. You can live a healthy lifestyle and still get sick.
None of these results should matter if the archer restricts his concern to performing his task well. It is the effort put forth, the intent, the will that matters, because we control it.
Use Your Head
I am content if I am in accord with Nature in what I will to get and will to avoid, if I follow Nature in impulse to act and to refrain from action, in purpose, and design and assent.
(Epictetus, Discourses XXII)
but to act in the manner that naturally allows us to flourish.
Lawrence Becker, A New Stoicism)
So, you use Logic to understand Physics, which tells you what is Ethical. Put another way, you use reason to study facts in order to figure out what to do. Or how to live.
To follow nature.
if your maxims are in conflict, if you forget what Epictetus said about it, if the "rules" are counter-intuitive, your default response should always be to fall back to the source and "follow nature
And that just means, "Use your head." If the facts change, you adjust.
Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.”
There is no "orthodoxy" in a living philosophy, and you can't be doing it wrong if you're making it work.
We would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others. (Epictetus, Enchiridion XXVI)
To get a more objective perspective, it’s often helpful to take a step back and view your obstacles as if you were a disinterested, but sympathetic, 3rd party. Would someone in that role be concerned for you? Or would they see the situation as one of the sort that people encounter daily, and daily navigate without injury?
The Stoic concept of oikeiosis posits that a stoic should steadily increase the scope of his concerns to include the wellbeing of not just himself, not just his family, and not just the nation but all of humanity.
This view is so close to Christian teachings!
What can you do to treat your fellow humans as if they were citizens of your universal Commonwealth, your brothers, your arms?
Christianism again ...
We should remind our spirits all the time that they love things that will leave - no, better, things that are already leaving. You possess whatever is given by Fortune without a guarantor.
Do it for 10 minutes. For 10 whole minutes, walk through each agonizing step of your excruciating loss. What would you do? How would you handle it? Could you really be “Stoic” about it? Possibly not.
But only by confronting your fears can you overcome them and learn to face whatever fate throws at you with serenity.
Nothing that happens to you can hurt you unless you choose to be hurt. It is only your own opinions of events that cause you to be disturbed.
Momento mori. The clock is ticking. What is the very next thing you will do to start moving in the right direction?
If you wallow with pigs, you’re going to come out muddy.
People who challenge you, and aren’t entirely impressed with you.
If you learn that someone is speaking ill of you, don’t try to defend yourself against the rumours; respond instead with, ‘Yes, and he doesn’t know the half of it, because he could have said more.’
Self-deprecation is a gentle way of showing that your self-esteem is strong enough to take a beating without losing your sense of humor.
There is nothing like showing you can take a punch to suck all the fun out of throwing one.
In your conversation, don’t dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures. Just because you enjoy recounting your exploits doesn’t mean that others derive the same pleasure from hearing about them.
Spending time talking about yourself is both boring and useless.
So let the other guy tell his stories. They might be entertaining.
All of these little tests of the will strengthen it like a muscle and, hopefully, leave you fortified when the real test happens.
Often I marvel at how men love themselves more than others while at the same time caring more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves. (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations Book XII)
Be contented, then, in everything with being a philosopher; and, if you wish to be thought so likewise by anyone, appear so to yourself, and it will suffice you. (Epictetus, Enchiridion 23)
We need only live our lives with as much wisdom as we can muster.
If you want happiness, you must stop looking for it in other people. Set your own standards for excellence and strive to meet them. There is nothing anyone else on the planet can do to help you reach that goal. And it's the only one that matters.
Never let others hear a disparaging remark escape your lips, unless you want them to wonder how you speak in their absence. When it is your turn to broach a topic, make sure it is focused on anything but you and your obsessions. Try, “So what are you working on, now?”, or “What are your thoughts on…”, or maybe, “I noticed you have a new …”. And when your words come, let it be because they are missed. Let your words have the weight of being sparingly shared; of being well considered. Let them be pulled, rather than pushed.
You can, and even should, love the good people in your life, but you always must be prepared to carry on without them.
You should regularly look to remove from your life that which you can do without. If possible, forever, but if not, at least for a while. Possessions, habits, hobbies, social commitments, whatever you can. Simplify your life so that there is less you can lose, less to weigh you down.
Likewise, of those things you cannot forever purge, at the very least try to occasionally do without. Skip the coffee for a week to reduce caffeine’s grip on you. Skip your favorite shows so that you are not committed to keeping up with the soap opera. Turn off your phone one Sunday and remember how it felt to be offline.
None of these things are essential to your happiness. You already have what you need for that...
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