Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life

by Barbara L. Fredrickson

Consider Jen’s story. She’s a thirty-eight-year-old mother of three in California, and her youngest child has autism. She recently volunteered for a study on how mothers cope with the stresses of caring for a chronically ill child, and how it affects their health. She indicated to the research team that although she found raising her youngest child to be taxing, she also found the good in her new role. In working through her difficulties, she discovered strengths she didn’t know she had, and deepened her religious faith. In other words, Jen was higher than most in what scientists call benefit finding— she found the good that emerged from her struggles. You might suspect that this would set Jen apart and make her among the healthiest of the moms tested. It didn’t. Even though Jen was quick to articulate positivity, she didn’t truly feel it. When she was asked during the course of a few normal days how happy, excited, or content she was feeling right then, she most often admitted “not at all.” It turned out that Jen was lower than most on her level of heartfelt positive emotions. What the research team discovered was that only the moms who both found benefit in their stressful experiences and reported experiencing positive emotions in their day-to-day experiences showed healthy fluctuations in the “stress” hormone cortisol. But Jen’s positivity was not heartfelt, so her own cortisol levels were high all day long, which is not particularly healthy17