Happy: Finding joy in every day and letting go of perfect

by Fearne Cotton

Just give me fresh air, my kids’ laughter, a paintbrush, people to cook for, a clear sky and plenty of sleep: these are my new cravings.

Acceptance of this is key,

my version of ‘happy’.

But if we are to find real and lasting happiness in our lives we need to abandon our obsession with hunting the highs and resisting the lows and discover the hidden secrets of the ‘calm’.

But this is very rocky ground to tread. Before you know it you’ve been sucked in completely and involved yourself in a story that you had little connection to in the first place but is now making you unnecessarily agitated or – if you know the people directly – that you now have to get yourself out of.

You may attain all you dreamed of, but there are no guarantees of happiness afterwards. You may achieve great success, own a home, complete a degree, get a job promotion – but still not feel any happier inside. We all get caught up in the fantasy of the future and how we will feel but this is the unknown – daily happiness has to come from the NOW.

I view this decade, from our teens to our mid-twenties, as an experimental era. One where we are working out how we fit into the world, and how the world works around us.

I just wish I had had the courage to be a bit more . . . well . . . ME!

Why have their decisions felt right to them?

I get angry when I feel OUT of control, whereas I could choose not to feel the anger and be instantly IN control.

we tend to hear more about the negative.

We either feel unable to tame the mind’s unruly nature or we believe certain patterns and ways in which it works are set in stone, because ‘that’s just how we are’.

If I can stop the process in time and remind myself that the fast-approaching bedtime is just a marker I have created, then I can get back to a place of calm.

I learned to be interested in what people had to say – listen carefully, you will learn something every time.

It might sound slightly grating, but the people that cause us to constantly react are usually the ones who are teaching us the most.

Don’t assume family drama before it happens; approach it with an open heart and mind.

THANK THE BAD STUFF. Try to see the lesson, and be thankful for this stuff, too.

This sort of pack didn’t necessarily provide me with a deep and nourishing support network, but I had the feeling of belonging.

Perhaps you believe you only amount to what you achieve, so are constantly working yourself into the ground.

Thank you for leaving my life at times to allow me to experience your vast contrast.