My desperate need for control ruled my every choice. I was unable to control my environment to ensure emotional safety. I was unable to risk more rejection or abandonment; therefore, I isolated myself. Controlling my weight appeared to be the only thing I was able to accomplish well. I could lose weight better than anyone I knew. I took pride in this accomplishment and felt as if I were in total control. The truth, however, was that anorexia had control of me.
