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“I guess I reject the notion that whether or not I do it is the most important thing about me. That my sense of self and value should be tied up solely in that one act.”
Trivial Pursuit games ended with me drinking the tears of my fellow players and leaving a trail of their bloodied hearts all over the board.
“My mom’s got a lot on her plate. I try to help out when I can. She has this ongoing to-do list. Or as I call it, the Ta-Da List. Because it would be magic if we actually accomplished anything on it. But when you have this many small kids, it’s like continually cleaning up by yourself after a raging party you didn’t attend that happens every night. Which means my mother’s housekeeping style can best be described as ‘There appears to have been a struggle.’”
“No, thanks. I’m allergic to running.” “What?” “Last time I ran, my skin was all flushed, my heart raced, I got sweaty and short of breath. I looked my symptoms up online, and the Internet diagnosed them as an allergic reaction.”
“Oreo has started putting jokes on the side of packages. Listen to this—‘Serving size: three cookies.’ That’s hilarious,” Lexi said before shoving said serving size into her mouth.
Shown some interest? I had so much interest in him I was practically a bank.
She was the hot one whom all the guys drooled over, and I was the smart one. Like we each had roles to play, and I’d spent so much time in her shadow that it hadn’t occurred to me that I could be pretty and she could have brains, too.
“I’d like to know what you’re thinking right now.” I felt all the color drain my face. Did he know? “I’m not telling you. That’s why I didn’t say it out loud. Because that’s how thinking works.”
“Sometimes in interviews they ask you what superpower you’d like to have. I used to choose being able to read people’s minds. Then Facebook happened, and I got over that.”
My heart was pumping so hard right then that if I’d been standing in Texas, it probably could have pulled oil out of the ground.
“Okay, I know it’s weird, but whenever I watch a movie like this and someone goes underwater, I hold my breath to see if I would have survived.” “It’s not weird. I do that, too. But I almost died watching Finding Nemo.”
“Lexi, how many times do I have to tell you that the only one hundred percent effective form of birth control is having my social skills?”
“Just so you know, you’re the friend I’d feel the worst about killing in a postapocalyptic death match.” “Right back at ya. I’m always here for you. Like a celebrity apology after a sexist comment,”
My grandma always told me not to hate people, so I knew I shouldn’t hate Amelia Swan, but if she were on fire and I had a glass of water, I would drink it.
Zia crouched down so we were eye level. “Cheese makes Zo-Zo sad?” “Yeah, Chase made me sad.” Her eyes narrowed. “Then I hits Cheese.” “We don’t hit people, Zia,” my mom reminded her for the millionth time, but Zia wasn’t having it. She nodded and whispered dramatically, “I hits him.”
“I want to remember the happy times,” I said. “But all I can remember is when he hurt me. Why is that?” “Probably because happiness doesn’t leave scars.”
