A Conspiracy of Tall Men

by Noah Hawley

There are whole families and shuddering couples, stunned individuals, male and female, dazed, wandering, corralled by representatives of the media. Who would do this? they ask. How could this happen? As if until this moment everything in life happened for a reason, as if before now there were no surprises, no fear, no expectation of catastrophe.

As conspiracy gurus go, he is unique in that he lives well and has adopted the vestiges of the American dream, with a wife and plans for children. Despite politics, he tells people, we all must have lives that are worth living. There is no excuse for bitterness and loneliness other than our own self-subversive natures.

All there is is circumstantial evidence. Remember, he thinks, if the clue seems too obvious or the evidence unarguably conclusive, you must ask yourself, Is this what I am to believe or what they want me to believe?

“In truth I think the United States Senate envies the new China. A repressive totalitarian regime controlling free enterprise. This way only the rich can surface.”

He understood that the knowledge of tools was the difference between those people who saw life as a series of surmountable challenges and those who felt that control of their lives was always just beyond their reach.

“Well, you know, believing in conspiracies is like the last piece we got left of believing in ghosts or vampires or shit like Frankenstein.”

Don’t lecture me about love, Linus. I’m not the one who hides his emotions until they’re like trip wires.

What do you want from me, Claudia? Progress. I want a collective sense of advancement. I want you to grow like I’m growing, to experience new things. I want more than just routine. I like routine. Routine is restful. It is the natural state of couple-hood, the state toward which all marriages gravitate. When you get married it’s with the understanding that you will watch more television with this person than you will ever again watch alone or in the company of others. It’s with the knowledge that you will develop rituals that surround Sunday breakfasts and Friday nights. You will grow to anticipate each other’s wants. You are volunteering to abandon mystery and slip into a comfortable understanding. That’s marriage.