When it comes to desire, men and women are in fact more similar than they are different. Nothing in Scott’s sexual blueprint makes me think that his sexuality is any less complicated or less emotional than the female version. Nor is it less relational. When I hear the pressure Scott puts on himself to please his girlfriend, the way he grades himself by the number of her orgasms, and his fear that she liked it better with previous boyfriends, I hear shame, performance anxiety, and fear of rejection. “What else should we call these emotions if not relational?” I ask him.
