Affairs are, by definition, precarious, elusive, and ambiguous. The indeterminacy, the uncertainty, the not knowing when I’ll see you again—feelings we would never tolerate in our primary relationship—become kindling for anticipation in a hidden romance. Because we cannot have the lover, it ensures that we keep wanting, for we always want that which we cannot have. It is this just-out-of-reach quality that lends affairs their erotic mystique and ensures that the flame of desire keeps burning.
