This policy does not apply just to affairs. In fact, the turning point for me was a session in which a woman told me that for the past twenty years she couldn’t wait for sex with her husband to be over. She didn’t like his smell and faked her orgasms. Knowing that this wouldn’t change and not considering it a marital dealbreaker, she didn’t see the point of telling him. I was willing to proceed with therapy cognizant of her pretense. So I had to ask myself, How is this secret fundamentally different from others?
