Shadow and Bone (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #1)

by Leigh Bardugo

“Do you think the world cares if you do your best? Do it again and do it right.”

Then it's okay to get it as wrong as possible too

the tsarevitch, the King’s eldest son and heir to the throne.

👤

King and Queen had a younger son, but I’d never actually seen him. “Sobachka?”

👤

And then he kissed me. It happened so suddenly that I barely had time to react.

Excuse me? Weren't we in the middle of a serious stag conversation?

I was shocked to see Sergei sitting next to Marie, his arm looped through hers. Maybe there’s something in the air, I thought in amazement.

Enemies to lovers?

It didn’t mean anything. He probably kisses a lot of Grisha girls. And why would the Darkling have any interest in you when there are people like Genya and Zoya around?

That's what I'd think, too. But this is a novel and you happen to be the FMC and he sounds like the MMC.

As hard as I pushed, my limitations were becoming obvious.

All Grisha had limits to their power, even the Darkling.

🗺️

How was it that Genya had fallen so hard for someone so serious and so quiet and so seemingly oblivious to her gorgeousness?

Girl, I've been wondering the same thing. I have no clue what's going on in the heads of everyone. Serious? Fine. Quiet? Fine. I draw the line at not treating the girl like she should be treated. With respect, care, and love.

Had he chosen these colors for me before or after the night by the lake? Would he regret seeing me in them tonight?

I don't think this is related to any of that. This is probably to show the kingdom of the second army's power to get rid of the fold now that they have a sun summoner.

I quickly gave up trying to remember names and simply smiled and nodded and bowed.

Relatable

I barely had time to register that it was the sitting room where I had once been brought to meet the Queen, because as soon as the door closed, he was kissing me and I could think of nothing else.

Are you playing right now? Kiss her all you want after making things clear.

I could feel how much he wanted me—but behind that desire, I could feel something else, something that felt like anger.

Exactly. Something feels wrong about him.

right now, I should be in the war room, hearing their report. I should be planning our trip north. But I’m not, am I?”

No. So, explain yourself.

“The problem with wanting,” he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.”

Well, I think the solution then is enlightenment.

I didn’t care that he’d ignored me or that he confused me or about any of Genya’s vague warnings.

Why the hell aren't you caring? Please care. I don't get how you all decide to ignore things and then wonder what the hell happened.

I was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that I was standing in a dark room with a near stranger and that only a few moments before I’d nearly had my skirts around my waist.

Again, how does this happen? (Not judging. Just wondering) I'd like to see if I'd do the same thing if this ever happened to me.

I didn’t think he was in love with me and I had no idea what I felt for him, but he wanted me, and maybe that was enough.

Thank god, you have a brain. I feel better than earlier now that I know you haven't put your heart into it.

“The clothes, the jewels, even the way you look. He’s all over you.”

Mal, my dear, are you the only one allowed to go and flirt with Grishas? And the two of you weren't dating.

What right did he have to judge me? How many girls had Mal held in the dark?

Exactly my point

I’d spent my life running after Mal. Instead, I stood in silence and let him go.

This was definitely his time for running after you but I kind of get him too. He doesn't know you suppressed your powers to stay with him.

“The Fold was created hundreds of years ago by the Black Heretic. The Darkling—” “He is the Black Heretic,” she said furiously, her face mere inches from mine.

Umm what?

“You’re his mother,” I whispered numbly.

Baghra? omg

“The Fold was no mistake.” Baghra dropped her hands and the swirling darkness around her melted away. “The only mistake was the volcra. He did not anticipate them, did not think to wonder what power of that magnitude might do to mere men.”

🗺️

Once the Darkling has used your power to subdue the volcra, he will be able to enter the Fold safely. He will finally have what he wants. There will be no limit to his power.”

🗺️

“Morozova’s stag is no ordinary amplifier. He will hunt it. He will kill it. He will take its antlers, and once he places them around your neck, you will belong to him completely. You will be the most powerful Grisha who has ever lived, and all that newfound power will be his to command. You will be bound to him forever, and you will be powerless to resist.”

🗺️

I’d been so eager to please him, so proud to keep his secrets. But I’d never bothered to question what he might really want, what his true motives might be. I’d been too busy imagining myself by his side, the savior of Ravka, most treasured, most desired, like some kind of queen. I’d made it so easy for him.

Exactly. Why think that you are the chosen one when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to men?

I’d escaped from the Little Palace well over a week ago. The alarm must have been raised by now.

Something's wrong. Maybe that wasn't Baghra. Maybe it was Genya or someone with her powers? Maybe someone is impersonating you back in the little palace?

Could I possibly be so lucky?

Absolutely not. Something is totally wrong.

How had Mal found me? Had he been tracking me with the other soldiers? What did it mean that he was helping me? I wanted to reach out and touch him to make sure he was real. I wanted to throw my arms around him in gratitude. I wanted to punch him in the eye for the things he’d said to me that night at the Little Palace.

First, are you sure that's Mal not someone impersonating him?

“Mal,” I whispered into the night. “What?” “Thanks for finding me.” I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, but somewhere in the dark, I thought I heard him whisper, “Always.”

oh my babyyy

she’d been genuinely panicked, but she’d tried to help me. If she’d been as ruthless as her son, she might have dispensed with risk and slit my throat instead.

What if it wasnt her or if she was just acting?

His words reminded me eerily of what the Darkling had said on the path to Baghra’s cottage. The stag was meant for you, Alina. I can feel it.

Okayy is Mal the second prince or is Darkling impersonating Mal right now?

“No, you’re not,” he agreed, and then we were laughing again.

You two are way too happy now. Tell me he's not gonna die.

fits. “And you didn’t tell anyone, and you bled all over Ana Kuya’s favorite tablecloth?” “You are making that up.” “I am not!” “Yes you are! You break noses, and you lie.”

We’d been robbed. We’d almost been killed. We were being hunted by the most powerful man in Ravka. But we were friends again, and sleep came more easily than it had in a long time.

We stayed like that for a long moment, then he leaned back. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me. His face was inches from mine, near enough that I could feel his warm breath.

Kiss. If this is the real Mal. He's the one for you.

“Get moving. We need to find that stag so I don’t have to chop your head off.” “I never said you had to chop my head off,” I grumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and stumbling after him.

So that's what Darkling did remember?

On an impulse, I slid my gloved hand into his. I thought he might pull away, but instead, he squeezed my fingers. We walked on that way, hand in hand through the late afternoon,

Please don't die

I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.”

Girl, he is your man.

Every morning, I woke with a fresh sense of guilt and shame, but also with the frustrating feeling that I was forgetting something, some message that had been clear and obvious in the dream but that hovered just outside of understanding when I woke.

Pretty sure that's the stag saying that you can take control of your power.

He raised his other hand to cup my face and kissed me softly, gently, and though everything in me rebelled, I let him. I hated him. I feared him. But still I felt the strange tug of his power, and I couldn’t stop the hungry response of my own treacherous heart.

Treacherous heart indeed

“I don’t care if you danced naked on the roof of the Little Palace with him. I love you, Alina, even the part of you that loved him.”

When she had finished, she pressed her cheek against mine and led me to Ivan, placing my hand on his arm like a bride.

Ewww

Now, darkness was nothing to me, and I knew that soon death would seem like a gift.

This was his soul made flesh, the truth of him laid bare in the blazing sun, shorn of mystery and shadow. This was the truth behind the handsome face and the miraculous powers, the truth that was the dead and empty space between the stars, a wasteland peopled by frightened monsters.

But what I couldn’t tell Mal was that the collar belonged to me, that the stag’s power felt like a part of me now, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to let it go.

Why not, though?

At night, the boy and the girl lie curled around each other in the belly of the ship. He holds her tight when she wakes from another nightmare, her teeth chattering, her ears ringing with the terrified screams of the men and women she left behind on the broken skiff, her limbs trembling with remembered power. “It’s all right,” he whispers in the darkness. “It’s all right.”

🥹❤️

They are orphans again, with no true home but each other and whatever life they can make together on the other side of the sea.

🫶

What is she to you anyway? Here’s my answer, Captain. She’s the thing that made this all okay—