Every Moment with You (Redeeming Love #1)

by J.E. Parker

“Now tell me, Hendrix. Are you going to stop drinking and go to meetings so you can fix this mess and bring my granddaughter home? Or do I need to call someone else?”

“From what I was told this morning, Ida Jacob’s youngest grandson Ty has taken quite an interest in my girl. Maybe he could—” My blood pressure went through the roof, and the vein in my temple nearly exp...

“Hendrix. Where are you going?” Without looking back at him, I replied, “To check in for my shift at 24.” I took a breath, fighting for calm. “Then I’m going to find an AA meeting.”

I turned to grab my bag and leave but stopped short when a flash of silver in the trophy case caught my eye. I moved closer to get a better look. “No damn way,” I whispered to the empty room. Disbelief slammed into me and I forgot how to breathe. It was my boxing trophy. The one I got for winning the Silver Gloves Championship. Then I saw the rest of the trophies—basketball ones—that lined the various shelves. All of them had my name etched on the bottom. Every. Single. One.

Stunned, I took two steps backward, and the backs of my thighs bumped into Pop’s desk. Something fell over, and I looked over my shoulder to see what it was. That’s when I saw the pictures. School pictures. Sports pictures. Graduation pictures. Pictures of me riding my dirt bike. Pictures of Maddie and me. Maddie… My chest filled with pressure.

“I’m an alcoholic, Hendrix.” Like I didn’t know that. “You already know that, but this is me confessing and owning up to one of my ugly truths.”

“The shit I’ve done… I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” I didn’t care to hear it. Sorry didn’t mean shit. Not when his actions had cost me so much. “I know I was a piece of shit father. The things I did to you…” Pop’s face took on a green hue. He looked like he would puke. Not wanting to have any part of that, I kicked the small trash can that sat beside his desk towards him. He ignored it. “I’m not saying I’ve become a good person—” Pop took a large breath “—because I haven’t. My soul is too corrupted to ever find grace again.”

“But I’m trying. Trying to change the things I have control over. Trying to make better choices.” He leaned against the door frame. “Part of that changing includes remembering the shit I was too drunk to experience when it happened.” He pointed towards the pictures on his desk, and my eyes followed the same path. “That’s what those are for.”

“Yeah? And what about the trophies? What the hell have you got those for? It’s not like you ever cared to come to one of my games.” The vein in my forehead pulsated as my voice rose. “And as you said, you were too drunk to even know I had started boxing.” I stopped yelling and took a deep breath. Pop remained silent. “So again, why the hell do you have my trophies? What did ya do, Pop? Steal them out of my old bedroom? You become a thief now too? Is that it?”

“A thieving alcoholic. What a hell of a combination. Tell me—were you drunk when you searched through my closet to find them? Or were you just buzzed? ’Cause God knows you didn’t do that shit sober.”

“You’ve got it all wrong.” “Yeah?” I moved in his direction and lifted my chin. “Tell me, Pop, what have I got wrong?” “I didn’t go through your old room when I was drunk.” I snorted. Sure he didn’t. “Hendrix—” he paused “—I haven’t had a drink in over six years.”

“I’m sober. Have been for a long time now.”

Standing up straight, he pulled a key ring out of his pocket and gestured for me to take it. I did. Holding it in my hand, I looked at the coin-shaped chips that lay in my palm. There were thirteen, and they were a mixture of different colors. “Those are fr...

Feeling sick to my stomach, I tossed the chips back to Pop. Disbelief swamped me. My shoulders slumped forward, and my eyes lost focus. I couldn’t believe this shit. Pop was clean. Sober. Had been for years. And me… ...

Pop moved into the room. “Talk to me, Son.” Son… There had been a time when I’d have done anything to have had him call me son. But he never had. The only thing Pop ha...

“You ever regret it?” My voice was calm, and the anger from before had dwindled. All I felt now was the disappointment. Disappointment in myself. “I regret a lot of things.”

“What do you regret the most?” Pop walked around me and behind his desk. Giving me his back, he gazed into the trophy case. “Hurting you.” He tapped on the case’s glass door. “Long as I live I’ll never understand how—even drunk—I hurt you the way I did.” His head dipped forward and his shoulders tensed. “The things I said. The things I did.” He blew out a breath. “I deserve to be shot.” Couldn’t argue with him there.

“Hendrix.” I turned around and walked out of the office. “Wait.” I stopped. “I’m not asking for your forgiveness, because I don’t deserve it.” Pop blew out a shaky breath, and I heard him moving closer. “But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life having my only kid hate me because of what I did to him when I was a worthless drunk.” I looked over my shoulder and met his eyes. “I don’t hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for what you made me do to Maddie. I loved that girl more than anything in the world. Still do.”

“And no beating you ever gave me will compare to the pain you caused when you forced me to hurt her.” My entire body trembled as I turned around to face my father head-on. “The pain you caused when you forced me to betray her so I could keep her safe.” Bile rose again. My throat spasmed. “Might as well face it, Pop. Right or wrong, I’ll hate you until my dying breath.”

“Aren’t you proud, Pop?” I couldn’t resist the urge to be a little prick. “Not only did your only son grow up to be the piece of shit loser you always insisted he would, but he also became a raging alcoholic.” Shaking my head in disgust, I walked down the hall. “Just like his father.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight when I did the shit I did. I was angry at so much stuff, and I didn’t know how to handle any of it. So I did what my father had always done—I drank. And when I drank I got even angrier.”

That was the excuse he was going with? My daddy did it, so I did it too. He was such a spineless bastard. He had an excuse for everything.

“By the time I made it home from the bar, I needed to hurt someone, make someone feel the way I felt on the inside.” He hung his head in sham...

“That why Mom left? Did you beat her too?” If he did, I swore on everything holy I would kill him. My mother may have been a worthless piece of shit for running away and leaving me behind, but she was still a woman.

Pop’s face turned stone cold. “Hell no.” He shook his head back and forth. “I ain’t never hit a woman. I may be a piece of shit, but I didn’t go that far.” I tossed my head back and laughed before meeting his eyes again. “Nah, you just like to beat on kids. Right, Pop?” I looked away from him and mumbled under my breath. “Sorry son of a bitch.”

He may have been a worthless father but I couldn’t help wondering if he would’ve been the same with a daughter. I doubted it. I didn’t think Pop would ever hurt a woman, much less a little girl. Wouldn’t surprise me if the asshole wished I’d been born a chick.

“That’s why you’re trying to get clean? For Maddie?” I nodded. Everything had always been for Maddie. Prom. Graduation. The Fire Academy. Fiery determination spread across Pop’s face. “Guess we better make sure you get to those meetings and stay sober then.”

“I ain’t ever done a damn thing right by you, Hendrix. But I’m sure as hell going to do this. A blind man could see how much you and Maddie loved each other, and seeing as I’m the reason everything fell apart to begin with, you can bet I will be the one to help put it back together.”

“I found it.” Confused, I lowered my brows and called out his name. “Pop.” He stopped and looked over his shoulder at me. “Yeah?” “What did you find?” He smiled and, with a gruff voice, said, “Redemption, Hendrix. I found the key to my redemption.”

Was I arrogant? No. Was I confident? Yes. Did I think I was that special? Yeah, I sure as hell did.

“I’m not arrogant, Cap, but I know Maddie, and I know what we had. What we still have. Love like ours? That shit doesn’t just die. It may be a little broken, may even be a bit damaged, but it doesn’t just disappear, and come hell or high water, I will fix it.” I pointed at Maddie. “Because that girl right there, she’s not just the other half to my heart, she’s the other half of my soul too.”

“Back to what I was asking—how long has it been since you had a drink?” My heart stalled. “What?” “You heard me.” “That’s one hell of an assumption to make about somebody. Didn’t your mama teach you some manners?” She shrugged. “My mama taught me lots of things. Mainly: ask for the money up front, never share your dope with anybody and, my favorite—never let the police inside the trailer without a warrant.” “Damn blondie,” I muttered, “and here I thought my childhood was bad.”

“My mama also taught me what withdrawal looks like. Being a cash-strapped junkie meant she’d run out of dope occasionally. When that happened, she went into withdrawal.” Her gaze met mine, and I didn’t see an ounce of judgment in her eyes. Only concern. “Your hands are shaking, you’re covered in sweat, and you’re fidgeting. Not to mention you’re paler than Madelyn and that’s saying something.”

“You don’t look like a junkie and considering you’re a fireman your vice has to be legal, which only leaves alcohol. So—” she paused before continuing “—I’m asking again, how long has it been since you last had a drink?” I didn’t even bother to lie. What was the point? She’d see straight through it. “Around thirty-six hours.”

“How long ago did the shaking start?” “Twelve hours.” Again, she nodded. “That’s good. Means you’re a...

“Within the next twelve hours it’ll start getting better. But until then”—she nodded towards the small corner sink—“I suggest you drink lots of water and keep something in your stomach. Saltines work great...

“You a nurse or something?” “Nope. Probably could be though. You’d be surprised what you learn growing up with a junkie for a parent.”

“When I was six, I learned how to tie a tourniquet around my mama’s arm so she could shoot up.” Turning around, she tossed the towel into the dirty linen hamper. “By the time I was ten, I was an expert at hitting her favorite vein with a dull needle.” I dropped my arms to my sides. “Jesus Christ.”

“Sugar, there wasn’t no Jesus Christ involved in my upbringing. Only the devil himself.”

Six years he’d looked for me? I didn’t believe it. He could have found me if he’d tried. After all, I’d stalked him for over four months when he first dumped me. I called. I emailed. I texted. Every. Single. Friggin’. Day. And I got nothing in return.

“Okey-dokey.” Liam shouted. “Okey-dokey?” I replied. “You’ve been spending time with Shelby, haven’t you? He nodded. “I like Shelby. She’s pretty, and she smells good.” I gasped in mock outrage. “Why Liam O’Bannon. You sneaky little snake. Are you two-timing me?” His eyes widened, and he smiled. “Nope. You’re both too old for me.”

Liam pointed at me with a sneaky grin on his face. “When you have a daughter, imma marry her.” Oh, Lord. I don’t know why I did it, but I glanced over at Hendrix. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring at Liam with raised brows. His eyes met mine, and my heart broke a little. We were supposed to have babies and raise a family.

“Well,” I said, looking back down at Liam, “if I ever have a daughter, you have my permission to marry her.” I paused before adding, “If that’s what she wants.” I could’ve sworn I heard Hendrix mutter, “You will,” under his breath, but I couldn’t be sure. Liam nodded once. “Good. Imma catches her frogs for presents, and imma kiss her every day.”

Liam kissed me on the cheek before climbing down from the bed. What he did next surprised the heck out of me. Straightening his spine, he placed his little fists on his hips and stomped across the room until he was standing in front of Hendrix. Tilting his head back, he stared up at him. “Are you Hen-dicks?” I may have laughed at his mispronunciation of Hendrix’s name. Hendrix squatted so they were close to being on eye level. “Yeah, buddy, I am.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. “Miss Shelby told Miss Hope dat you made Miss Madelyn cry.” He leaned forward. “I don’t like dat you made her cry.” Hendrix hesitated in responding. He glanced at me before meeting Liam’s eyes again. “I don’t like making her cry.” Liam stomped a foot. “So don’t do it no more.”

Clara, Grandmama, and I watched as the five-year-old who a week ago was scared to even speak, stood up to a man four times his size to defend me. “I’ll try my best not to.” Liam nodded once....

“I’m an alcoholic, a gambler, and a child abuser…”

Seven days after the assault, I was discharged from the hospital.

“The only woman I’ve ever been inside is you, Maddie.” No friggin’ way… One look at his face and I knew he was telling the truth.

“Baby, listen.” He cupped both sides of my face with his hands. “I know you might not believe me but I’m going to say it regardless.”