Artificial Condition (The Murderbot Diaries, #2)

by Martha Wells

didn’t care what humans were doing to each other as long as I didn’t have to a) stop it or b) clean up after it.

So they made us smarter. The anxiety and depression were side effects.

When a major character died in the twentieth episode I had to pause seven minutes while it sat there in the feed doing the bot equivalent of staring at a wall, pretending that it had to run diagnostics. Then four episodes later the character came back to life and it was so relieved we had to watch that episode three times before it would go on.

I guess you can’t tell a story from the point of view of something that you don’t think has a point of view.

ART (aka Asshole Research Transport)

Are all constructs so illogical? said the Asshole Research Transport with the immense processing capability whose metaphorical hand I had had to hold because it had become emotionally compromised by a fictional media serial.

I pointed out that many humans or augmented humans had the hair on their bodies removed, for hygienic or cosmetic reasons and because who the hell wants it there anyway. ART countered that humans didn’t have to worry about being identified as SecUnits, so they could do whatever they wanted to their bodies.

So your initial assumption was correct, the incident did occur. Investigation can now proceed. I wanted to shut down, but it would interfere with the healing process. ART asked, Do you wish to watch media? I didn’t respond, but it started an episode of Sanctuary Moon anyway.

"Hey so you killed people. Would you like to watch Sailor Moon with me?"

And now I knew why I hadn’t wanted to do this. It would make it harder for me to pretend not to be a person.

Yes, the giant transport bot is going to help the construct SecUnit pretend to be human. This will go well.

I’m Eden, the security consultant.” Right, so, it was the name of one of the characters in Sanctuary Moon. You probably aren’t surprised by that.

“Tlacey’s terms were great,” Tapan added, “but maybe too great, if you know what I mean.” ART did a quick search and returned the opinion that it was intended to be a figure of speech. I told it I knew that.

Rami admitted, “We know it doesn’t sound like a good idea to go.” It was a great idea to go if you wanted to be murdered.

“Maybe Tlacey wants us to work for her again,” Tapan said hopefully. Probably, before she murders you, I didn’t say.

ART’s freedom to weigh in on everything I did was punishment enough.)

Port Authority,

Why is Port Authority still a thing

Yes, I often want to shake my clients. No, I never do.

“Sometimes people do things to you that you can’t do anything about. You just have to survive it and go on.”

I sighed again. I was having a lot of opportunities to do it and I think I was getting good at it.

Tapan dropped her bag on the floor and faced me. “I know you’re mad.” I tried to moderate my expression. “I’m not mad.” I was furious.

“In the creche, our moms always said that fear was an artificial condition. It’s imposed from the outside. So it’s possible to fight it. You should do the things you’re afraid of.”

Young humans can be impulsive. The trick is keeping them around long enough to become old humans. This is what my crew tells me and my own observations seem to confirm it.

I know, I said, if the humans were dead, who would make the media?

It was the message string, three words. Please help me.

“You really think this is one of the units from the Ganaka Pit accident?” The sexbot started to reply, and I said, “But we all know that wasn’t an accident, don’t we.”

I started to remove the comm interface ART had given me. “You need to clean this, too.” No, ART said. Keep it. Maybe we’ll come within range of each other again.