The Road Not Taken: Edward Lansdale and the American Tragedy in Vietnam

by Max Boot

Then, on September 7, 1956, knowing that Ed was about to return to his family in Washington, Pat sat down at her typewriter and wrote him a letter full of pain and longing that deserves to be quoted at length for the light it sheds on the state of their relationship: I am having an extremely difficult time trying to say the right things. What does one write when one wants to terminate 10 years of a wonderful association? Does one merely scribble “finis” and let it go at that? Or does one merely keep silent and thus let it be understood that everything is all over. This would have been the easiest thing to do . . . just like running away and hiding and refusing to face facts. It would have been very cowardly too. I think what we have or had, deserves something better than that. It is so hard to give you up without a struggle which I suspect you are ready to do. The years go by, people change and the things they want are different. I wish I could just keep on feeling the same old way, happy to compromise, blind to almost everything except to be with you, to love you and have you love me, to be content after some fashion. But things have changed. I feel I must keep faith with myself. I have reached a bridge and it has to be crossed.