Notes from the Underground

by Fyodor Dostoevsky

“I am alone and they are everyone,”

The characteristics of our romantic are to understand everything, to see everything and to see it often incomparably more clearly than our most realistic minds see it; to refuse to accept anyone or anything, but at the same time not to despise anything; to give way, to yield, from policy; never to lose sight of a useful practical object (such as rent-free quarters at the government expense, pensions, decorations), to keep their eye on that object through all the enthusiasms and volumes of lyrical poems, and at the same time to preserve “the sublime and the beautiful” inviolate within them to the hour of their death, and to preserve themselves also, incidentally, like some precious jewel wrapped in cotton wool if only for the benefit of “the sublime and the beautiful.”

Innumerable “romantics” attain later in life to considerable rank in the service. Their many-sidedness is remarkable! And what a faculty they have for the most contradictory sensations!

Los románticos son contradictorios

I tried to stifle all that was continually seething within me by means of external impressions. And the only external means I had was reading.

I don’t want to lie. I vowed to myself I would not.

Todavía está inclinado a la virtud

For of the point of honor—not of honor, but of the point of honor (point d’honneur)—one cannot speak among us except in literary language.

Another time I followed him to his flat, and for ten kopecks learned from the porter where he lived, on which story, whether he lived alone or with others, and so on—in fact, everything one could learn from a porter.

Acosando

“He could have shielded me with his higher rank, while I could have improved his mind with my culture, and, well . . . my ideas, and all sorts of things might have happened.”

(to this day I thank the Almighty with tears in my eyes)

Reconoce al Dios

“Why must you invariably be the first to move aside?” I kept asking myself in hysterical rage, waking up sometimes at three o’clock in the morning. “Why is it you and not he? There’s no regulation about it; there’s no written law. Let the making way be equal as it usually is when refined people meet; he moves half-way and you move half-way; you pass with mutual respect.” But that never happened, and I always moved aside, while he did not even notice my making way for him.

Vinculable

itself puts us on an equal footing in the eyes of the society.”

Su plan: muestra al oficial que no es mejor que nadie más

But the period of my dissipation would end and I always felt very sick afterward. It was followed by remorse—I

Se siente culpable?

But I had a means of escape that reconciled everything—that was to find refuge in “the sublime and the beautiful,” in dreams, of course.

I had faith, hope, love.

Por los sueños

Anything but the foremost place I could not conceive for myself, and for that very reason I quite contentedly occupied the lowest in reality.

That was my ruin, for when I was in the mud I comforted myself with the thought that at other times I was a hero, and the hero was a cloak for the mud: for an ordinary man it was shameful to defile himself, but a hero was too lofty to be utterly defiled, and so he might defile himself.

No hay balanza

fantastic love,

No realístico

I, for instance, was triumphant over everyone; everyone, of course, was in dust and ashes, and was forced spontaneously to recognize my superiority, and I forgave them all.

And most contemptible of all it is that now I am attempting to justify myself to you.

No le gusta ser vulnerable

I was awfully shy of them because they were always whispering and giggling together.

Alyosha

I believe I had transferred into the department I was in simply to avoid their company and to cut off all connection with my hateful childhood.

En la milicia

Simonov was positively surprised at my turning up.

<333

(for which I would, however, have gladly exchanged my intelligent one),

Lol Todavía quiere ser atractivo en la sociedad

By then he had taken to cutting me in the street,

Zverkov es como el oficial

Zverkov está visto como alguien con maneras buenas

“How twenty-one roubles?” I asked in some agitation, with a show of being offended; “if you count me it will not be twenty-one, but twenty-eight roubles.”

It seemed to me that to invite myself so suddenly and unexpectedly would be positively graceful, and that they would all be conquered at once and would look at me with respect.

…

Amable

They understood nothing, they had no idea of real life, and I swear that that was what made me most indignant with them.

Como Scar

To escape from their derision I purposely began to make all the progress I could with my studies and forced my way to the very top.

Para estar dejado

In the end I could not put up with it: with years a craving for society, for friends, developed in me.

The first thing I did on leaving school was to give up the special job for which I had been destined so as to break all ties, to curse my past and shake the dust from off my feet. . . .

Trabajo especial? Que es?

With despair I pictured to myself how coldly and disdainfully that “scoundrel” Zverkov would meet me; with what dull-witted, invincible contempt the blockhead Trudolyubov would look at me; with what impudent rudeness the insect Ferfitchkin would snigger at me in order to curry favor with Zverkov; how completely Simonov would take it all in, and how he would despise me for the abjectness of my vanity and lack of spirit—and,

Tiene una obsesión de pelear con los brutales

did not care a straw really for the result, even if I did achieve it.

Solo quiere la gloria