My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts

by Resmaa Menakem

Hug people mindfully. Before you give a hug, do your best to settle your body. As you hug the other person, pay close attention to your body—and to their body, too. This transforms a greeting ritual into a practice for settling and harmonizing bodies. (Of course, only hug people who are okay with being hugged.) Offer supportive touch. Gently but firmly, simply hold a part of someone’s body to support it. This might be a person’s elbow or their shoulder or the back of their neck. This can be especially settling for someone who is distraught or shaken. Of course, always ask the person for permission first. To provide additional support and settling, also hum softly. Cry or wail together in times of grief, tragedy, or death. Host a wailing circle or set up a wailing room. There can be great healing in the shared expression of suffering or misery.