My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts

by Resmaa Menakem

What did you experience in your body when I handed you the puppy? When you held it in your arms? When you gave it back to me? What happened in your body when I first struck the puppy with a hammer? When I kept striking it? When you realized I was murdering it? When you knew for certain it was dead? What did your body want to do? Try to stop me? Grab for the hammer? Punch me in the face? Run away? Freeze in terror? Dial 9-1-1? Had I actually beaten a puppy to death in front of you,71 you might have suffered vicarious trauma. That trauma could stay stuck in your body—possibly for months, years, or even decades—until you addressed it and mended it. And in order to mend it, you would first need to recognize it as trauma. I suggest you take a break from this book for at least half an hour. During that time, consider using one of the many techniques you’ve practiced for settling your body. Once your body experiences a difference and a settledness, resume reading.