I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness

by Austin Channing Brown

worked as if white folks were at the center, the great hope, the linchpin, the key to racial justice and reconciliation—and so I contorted myself to be the voice white folks could hear. It’s amazing how white supremacy even invades programs aimed at seeking racial reconciliation.

Whiteness wants enough Blackness to affirm the goodness of whiteness, the progressiveness of whiteness, the openheartedness of whiteness. Whiteness likes a trickle of Blackness, but only that which can be controlled.

If my feelings do not fit the narrative of white innocence and goodness, the burden of change gets placed on me.

Sadly, most white people are more worried about being called racist than about whether or not their actions are in fact racist or harmful.

I wanted to be the Black girl who white people are afraid of making angry.

I longed for the immediate release of rage, but my mild-mannered nature would not allow me this luxury.

Austin wears the mask that grins and lies.

But I think those without power would’ve said that his anger led to freedom—the freedom of belonging, the freedom of healing, and the freedom of participating as full members in God’s house.

Perfection is demanded of Blackness before mercy or grace or justice can even be considered.

“reconciliation is revolutionary, that is, oriented to structural change.” Which means, reconciliation can never be apolitical. Reconciliation chooses sides, and the side is always justice.

parameters of dialogue can be easily manipulated to benefit whiteness.

But reconciliation is not about white feelings. It’s about diverting power and attention to the oppressed, toward the powerless.

my experience has been that whiteness sees love as a prize it is owed, rather than a moral obligation it must demonstrate.

Love, for whiteness, dissolves into a demand for grace, for niceness, for endless patience—to keep everyone feeling comfortable while hearts are being changed. In this way, so-called love dodges any responsibility for action and waits for the great catalytic moment that finally spurs accountability.