Wave

by Sonali Deraniyagala

We had no time. We had to be fast. I knew that. But I didn’t know what I was fleeing from.

What is this knocked-down world? The end of time?

I stared into this unknown landscape, still wondering if I was dreaming, but fearing, almost knowing, I was not.

Telling them would make it too real.

I don’t want it to

be tomorrow. I was terrified that tomorrow the truth would start.

A bit pointless, I thought, I will kill myself soon.

I’ll wait until all the bodies are found, I told myself. Then I will kill myself.

Soon, very soon, I have to kill myself.

The torment of wanting them when they came up close like this. I will kill myself soon. But until then, how do I tame my pain?

The house I entered was transformed, empty and vast, bereft.

stood there taunting the sea, our killer. Come on then. Why don’t you rise now? Higher, higher. Swallow me up.

My surroundings were as deformed as I was. I belonged here.