Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

by Fannie Flagg

“Cleo said the reason the store failed was because Poppa couldn’t say no to anybody, white or colored. Whatever people wanted or needed, he just put in a sack and let them have it on credit. Cleo said Poppa’s fortune had walked right out the door on him in paper bags.

“Listen, you old bone cracker, you’ve never turned a hungry man away from your door in your life.” “I never had to. They were all over here,” he said and cleared his throat.

God never shuts a door unless he opens another,

By the way, does anybody out there want to buy a slightly used husband, cheap? Just kidding, Wilbur.

Lmfao

“No it isn’t. I’d rather kill for love than kill for hate. Wouldn’t you?” “Well, I don’t think we should ever kill for any reason.” “All right, then, I’d die for you. How about that? Don’t you think somebody could die for love?” “No.” “The Bible says Jesus Christ did.” “That’s different.” “No it isn’t. I could die right now, and I wouldn’t mind. I’d be the only corpse with a smile on my face.”

You never know what’s in a person’s heart until they’re tested, do you?”

There are magnificent beings on this earth, son, that are walking around posing as humans.

No matter what you look like, there’s somebody who’s gonna think you’re the handsomest man in the world.

“I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, and wind up with the one they’re supposed to be with.

“Oh, she was a full-grown woman, only she was tiny, she had to stand on a box while she did my hair. I’d say she was about two inches away from being a midget. Of course, I don’t let any handicap like that bother me, and I love a midget….I wonder whatever happened to that little midget that sold cigarettes?” “Where?” “On the radio and TV. They used to dress him up like a bellboy, sold Phillip Morris cigarettes. You remember!” “Oh yes. I know who you’re talking about now.” “Oh, I used to get the biggest kick out of him. I always wished he would come to Whistle Stop so I could sit him on my lap and play with him.”

Huh?

“LISTEN, YOU MEALY-MOUTHED, MOLE-FACED, GLASS-EYED SON OF A BITCHING BASTARD! IF YOU EVER HIT RUTH AGAIN, I’LL KILL YOU! YOU BASTARD! I SWEAR I’LL CUT YOUR DAMN HEART OUT! YOU HEAR ME, YOU ASSHOLE BASTARD!”

Yas

“You know, I’ve been thinking. I don’t know what’s worse—going to jail or having to be nice to the preacher for the rest of my life.”

Lmfao

The ones that hurt the most always say the least.