Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

by Fannie Flagg

“It’s funny, when you’re a child you think time will never go by, but when you hit about twenty, time passes like you’re on the fast train

“I believe in God, but I don’t think you have to go crazy to prove it.”

They’re terrified to sit next to a nigger and have a meal, but they’ll eat eggs that came right out of a chicken’s ass.”

“Oh no, honey, lots of women go through it early. Why, there was this woman over in Georgia who was only thirty-six years old, and one day she got in her car and drove right up the stairs of the county courthouse, rolled down her window, and tossed her mother’s head, that she had just chopped off in her kitchen, at a state policeman, and hollered, ‘Here, this is what you wanted,’ and drove right back down the courthouse stairs. Now, that’s what an early menopause will do for you if you’re not careful.”

“Why Did Noah Let Two Snakes on the Boat When He Had a Chance to Get Rid of Them Once and for All?”

When we got home, he found out he had been in such a rush, he had forgotten to take the coat hanger out of his coat.

does anybody out there want to buy a slightly used husband, cheap?

Sipsey said she was like that because Momma had eaten wild game when she was pregnant with Idgie, and that’s what caused her to act like a heathen!

Evelyn had even made up a secret code name for herself…a name feared around the world: TOWANDA THE AVENGER!

when Ed yelled from the den for another beer, somehow, before Evelyn could stop her, Towanda yelled back, “SCREW YOU, ED!”

I think all the bad news affects people, makes them so mean.

on Judgment Day Jesus is going to come down with a host of angels to judge the quick and the dead.’ “Evelyn asked me who the quick were, and do you know, for the life of me, I couldn’t tell her!”

She remembered how Ed had once complimented that same woman at the office when she had stood up to the boss. He had bragged on her, saying what a ballsy dame she was. But now that she thought about it, she wondered: What did that woman’s strength have to do with Ed’s anatomy? He hadn’t said, “Boy, she’s got some ovaries”; he had definitely said what balls she had.

A ball transplant….That’s right. Or maybe she could get two from an anonymous donor. That’s it, she’d buy some off a dead man and she could put them in a box and take them to important meetings and bang them on the table to get her way. Maybe she’d buy four…

every night in the cell blocks was bad—but whenever there was a full moon, look out.

Evelyn leaned out her window and calmly said, “Let’s face it, honey, I’m older than you are and have more insurance than you do,” and drove away. Ed, who worked for an insurance agency, did have plenty of insurance, as it turned out, but he could not understand how she could have run into someone six times by mistake.