More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
We didn’t expect to love our partners; we hoped – at best – to tolerate them.
Romanticism declared that the only real foundation for a relationship was an intense bond of love.
Our belief in instinct has been no friend of our chances of happiness.
A sense of being in love with someone is seldom a prelude to long-term contentment.
We aren’t capable of falling in love with just anyone; we are powerfully led by our ‘types’.
Our love is a dividend of gratitude for their magical ability to understand.
In their arms, in an emotional sense, we come home.
We will always be creatures of instinct, but we can learn to manage our drives more effectively. By doing so, we will radically improve our chances of finding someone we can love successfully over the long term.
The success of love will depend on success at learning and teaching.
although we’re attracted to strengths in others, we don’t necessarily accept that we have to correct the weaknesses in ourselves
The fact that they understood parts of our minds so well, and so naturally, at one particular point leads to the counterproductive feeling that they should therefore understand the whole of our minds at all times
We could explain what is wrong to them, of course, but if we did so, it would mean that they had failed to understand us intuitively and therefore that they were not worthy of love.
