We’re accusing the lover of being in the wrong. But really, the problem almost certainly lies with us. We should consider what is causing us to resort to the words ‘naive’ and ‘needy’. Their alleged naivety is our doing. They think us wonderful, but only because this is the way we have presented ourselves. We have been extraordinarily successful at hiding all our shadow sides from them. It is not they who are naive, it’s we who are good liars. It is normal, during seduction, to throw
