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June 5 - August 28, 2023
But a little voice would always opine that saying yes to others was, in effect, saying no to myself.
Moreover, it’s important that we attend to our own needs before attending to the needs of others.
But allowing your needs to remain unaddressed while you continuously cater to others is the path toward resentment and bitterness.
Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition.
involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion. Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation.
Rather, the goal is to learn how to say no without feeling guilty.
I realized that as long as I was respectful to the individual asking for my help, I wasn’t responsible for any offense taken when I said no.
You’re not responsible for causing others disappointment when you say no to them.
Disappointment springs from unmet expectations.
We have a limited number of hours to play with each day. That means every time we say yes to someone, we’re saying no to someone or something else.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. The problem is, if you’re constantly saying yes to other people, putting their priorities ahead of your own, you won’t have the time or energy to care for yourself. And you’ll slowly become irritated, cynical, and miserable.
The most responsible thing you can do is care for yourself before you cater to others.
After all, if you use up your time, energy, and attention on others, you won’t have any left over for yourself.
make sure that self-care has a higher priority than giving care.
Burdened with a low self-image, we mistakenly believe our time is worth less than others’ time. We wrongly assume our goals and interests are inferior to other people’s goals and interests. We perceive our value to the world as somehow less than the value offered by those around us.
learning to say no with purpose and poise will actually improve your status in the eyes of your friends, family members, and coworkers. You’ll no longer be seen as a doormat. Instead, you’ll gain their respect and inspire their trust.
Emotional bullying occurs when one person makes another feel afraid, angry, or self-conscious for the purpose of achieving his or her ends.
variety of means, including the following: yelling calling swearing making threats lobbing insults humiliation ostracization making accusations
your time will take your waffling as a sign of indecision. He or she will recognize that you can be coaxed toward his or her ends, even if that means you risk missing your own deadlines.
According to psychologists, the fear of missing out is serious enough to induce anxiety in many people. It can even be the cause of compulsive behavior, such as checking email and Facebook messages every few minutes.
It’s critical that you recognize your own value. This isn’t just a matter of building self-esteem. Recognizing your value puts you on an equal footing with everyone around you. To that end, it forces you to acknowledge that your time, interests, opinions, and goals are worth just as much as other people’s.
When you possess a strong sense of self-worth, you naturally feel more confident. And that can give you the courage to stand your ground when you face emotional manipulation or intimidation.
Boundaries help us to better understand our loved ones. They encourage us to see our spouses and partners as unique individuals with unique feelings, passions, and interests. They make it easier to identify our loved ones’ needs. To that end, they discourage us from using guilt or manipulation to get what we desire.
The workplace can sometimes seem like a battlefield of competing interests and conflicting agendas.
You have no idea
