When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir

by Patrisse Cullors

If I die in police custody, know that they killed me. If I die in police custody, show up at the jail, make noise, protest, tell my mother. If I die in police custody, tell the entire world: I wanted to live.

Future says simply, quietly, clearly, I am so happy for you. What do you need? How can I support you? they ask. And I exhale. Tears form in my eyes. We’re going to be okay, I think, and try to telegraph this to the tiny person taking shape inside of me.

I am a mother now, and like any mother, as vulnerable as I’ve ever been but as strong as I’ve ever been, as well.

As of this writing, three of the organizers from Ferguson, DeAndre Joshua, Darren Seals and Edward Crawford, have all been found shot dead in their cars.

And I know that if we do what we are called to do, curate events and conversations that lead to actions that lead to decisions about how we should and would live, we will win.

Recognizing that we are working with—and many of us are, ourselves—some of the most traumatized people in the United States, the BLM network has health and wellness directors dedicated to ending toxicity in our own organizations.

Are we pushing ourselves in each conversation we have to really imagine the world we want to live in, rather than beginning with the compromise position?