Own the Day, Own Your Life: Optimized Practices for Waking, Working, Learning, Eating, Training, Playing, Sleeping, and Sex

by Aubrey Marcus

Build Your Ethos The Spartans had a very simple ethos: Never give up, never surrender. Pete Carroll built one for his entire organization: Always compete. Protect the team. Leave no doubt. Play in the absence of fear. Stay in the moment. Support individuality. Be an excellent communicator. Have fun, show lots of love.

His point is that instead of letting it happen by accident, getting fooled by some sugar pill or a sham surgery, we should harness the placebo effect to our advantage. Visualization is a prime example of that intentional placebo at work, one we’ve already seen in this book with those study participants who visualized themselves lifting heavy weights and getting stronger as a result. The same principle applies with owning the day. Visualizing yourself doing it will have a positive impact.

In my coaching course “Go for Your Win,” I have everyone choose a single phrase they can tell themselves whenever times get tough. They need it (we all do, frankly) because in the absence of success or in the presence of obstacles, forgiveness will only take you halfway. Positive self-talk is what picks up the baton for the final leg and brings you across the finish line of your day, of your mission, of your life.

Psychologists agree that there are four keys to compelling positive action: (1) know what to do and how to do it; (2) believe it will work; (3) see the value; and (4) get support from your community/tribe/family.

HO’OPONOPONO The Hawaiian kahunas (shamans) have a practice for radical forgiveness they call Ho’oponopono, the purpose of which is to get you to a completely clean slate, a state of mind called the zero state (also the title of a book by Joe Vitale). It is a simple dialogue you have with yourself or a loved one, which requires you to say four things. We’re going to focus it on yourself for now, but keep this in your medicine bag when you need to resolve a conflict with anyone else.

Say it to yourself: I love you, I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you. Now imagine all the things you judge yourself for. Think about everything you beat yourself up about. Keep saying it for each one of those things. Keep meaning it. Like a fighter landing the jab over and over again. Eventually you will vanquish the judge and reach radical forgiveness. Then you will have to do it again. The hero is simply someone who does battle with his demons every day. I love you, I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you.

to be of service, you have to be fit for service. A leaky cup can’t effectively serve water. There’s a reason they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others in case of emergency on an airplane. You need to be strong and vital to be of any use to other people.

All around you, right now, you have people looking at you. Some are in your family. Maybe you have kids. You certainly have friends or coworkers, and maybe even some strangers on social media. They are all looking for some sign that somebody knows what the hell is going on out there and that something better is possible. You can be that sign, that someone, that something better. You can be the one they point to. You aren’t just owning the day for yourself, you are owning the day for everyone you know. For everyone you love!

Pick the day you want to own, begin the process, and let everyone you love know about it. Ask for their support, hold yourself accountable to your word, and you won’t just own that day, you will be setting yourself on the path to owning your life.