When Never Comes

by Barbara Davis

because fear outsold hope and always would.

Half a heart isn’t good for anything.

“Men like Stephen don’t cheat because they’re missing something at home, Christy-Lynn. They cheat because they’re missing something inside, so they take what they want and make it theirs, because they need to fill up all that empty space.

“Maybe it wasn’t about needing them. People hold on to all kinds of things, silly things, even broken things, because of the memories attached to them.”

“How can you not believe in never? It’s just a word.” “No,” Missy said firmly. “It isn’t. It’s all the doors we keep shut. It’s the places we won’t let ourselves go, the things we won’t let ourselves have or be, because we don’t think we’re good enough or strong enough for more. I know because that used to be me. And then I became a single parent, and I realized I didn’t have time for nevers.” She paused, her smile thin and tremulous. “All I’m saying is don’t live a smaller life than you deserve.”

She said the word never represents all the doors we keep closed, that when we say never we close ourselves off from the hope that things can ever be different.”

“I can be brave enough for the both of us until you get good at it.”