“Oh, Jackass,” I say with what I hope comes across as gentle pity. “Poor Jackass. Let me explain something. You know in fairy tales, when a bunch of princes all try to win the princess’s hand, but they’re all vain and entitled and self-involved and they fail at the task and get put to death? And then there’s one who comes along who’s clever and good and he wins and gets to live happily ever after with her? Yeah, well, you’re the first kind.” I pat him on the shoulder. “It’s all over for you.”
