An American Princess: The Many Lives of Allene Tew

by Annejet van der Zijl

Old age and illness are destroyers of individuality. Just as babies look alike, so do people at the end of their lives.

For if you no longer have a future, what else is there left but dreams of the past?

That afternoon, Allene buried the man who was her great love in the cemetery at the end of Feeks Lane in Lattingtown—close to his own Birchwood and the grave of the stepdaughter he had considered his own. After this, Allene was truly alone for the first time in years, with a heart that had been crippled for a second time. She was rich, but in terms of having people who truly belonged to her, she was poorer than even the simplest servants in her houses. Allene was “the richest and saddest

Just as the amputees from the First World War had learned to live with artificial limbs and even become used to them, Allene made do with an artificial family. There was no space in her philosophy of life for wasting time contemplating lost loves or becoming a captive of her own past.

A really apt analogy! The thought of it being a waste of time to stew over the past, of being captive of the past - this is powerful.

Allene’s homemade recipe for happiness in life had always worked well. Again and again, she’d confronted adversity and despair with her favorite mantras. “If one has the will and persistence, one CAN do things . . . always try every possible way, and if you don’t see a way, ask for help . . . COURAGE ALL THE TIME.”

Modern day feminists can find fault with women from the past who marry in order to position themselves in society - but in past ages this was the ONLY recourse women had to gain the power to become something.

I’d been saving a 2011 interview with Professor of Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Frank Koerselman for years. It was about what he called “the pampered society.” He wrote that modern man suffered from too much vanity and a lack of self-reflection and had forgotten how to deal with frustrations and setbacks in a healthy way.

the only real predictor of good or bad luck is the ability to deal with setbacks. Those who can best cope with setbacks have the greatest chance of fortune.

When it comes to Allene, I think the answer is provided by biologist Charles Darwin, who is purported to have said: “It’s not the strongest of the species that survives, neither is it the most intelligent that survives. It is the most adaptable to change.”

nineteenth-century folk, always presented as Puritan and narrow-minded, turned out also to be energetic, tough, and sociable.

there are major social and personal advantages to be had if people are capable of controlling themselves, being disciplined, and, if necessary, sacrificing themselves for the greater good.