It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

by Megan Devine

Anxiety is an addictive drug, made all the more powerful by knowing that unlikely shit does happen, and there is nothing you can do.

predicting danger. Most of our fears never come to pass, and as I wrote above, in true emergencies, anxiety is often conspicuously absent.

Fear thoughts create a brain response, which creates a body response, which conditions your thoughts to come up with more fears, which starts the cycle again.

It’s not that anxiety is wrong; it’s more that it’s not effective in creating the safety you seek. Here’s the thing: no matter what your anxiety tells you, rehearsing disaster will not

make you safe. Repeatedly checking in with people to be sure they’re still safe will never create a lasting sense of safety.

lengthening your exhale soothes your nervous system, shutting down the flood of stress hormones that trigger anxiety.

The crazy train of fear prevents you from being present to what is, and it most definitely keeps you from enjoying whatever

goodness is here in this moment. Anxiety also depletes your energy reserves, makes sleep difficult, and, in general, feels like crap. I don’t want that for you.

As your thoughts become more anxious or agitated, it’s a cue that you need to turn in, slow down, and care for your physical organism: sleep, eat, rest, move. Addressing these physical needs first can actually reduce a lot of your anxiety.