It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

by Megan Devine LPC

Finding your middle way inside grief is about finding friendship with your own heart, making a home inside your own heart. It’s in learning to bear witness to your own pain, in treating yourself like someone you love. It’s about claiming your right to be in pain, without cleaning it up or making it pretty for someone else’s comfort. It’s about finding those who can share this path with you, who are not afraid to see your heart in all its pain and all its grace. Your own middle ground gets created as you experiment with grief, finding ways to stitch this experience into your life. It will change you, yes. Who you become, how you carry this loss—these things continue to unfold. The middle ground is always a work in progress. It’s one that neither asks you to deny your pain, nor be forever engulfed by it. It’s one that simply lets you find a home inside the reality of love, with all its beautiful and horrible parts. Held by love, inside an experience of love—it’s the only place we’re “safe.”