It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

by Megan Devine LPC

“I don’t usually put into words the ache in my throat, the knot in my stomach, the headache that I get from holding back tears. Words have limits, but pain doesn’t seem to. So what’s the point? Words are imperfect tools. They can and do let us down often. But at their best, words can build a connection between me and another person, and it’s that connection that matters to me. When you’re connected to someone, when they get you, they know that the words you speak are only the tip of a huge iceberg of feelings, regrets, dreams, and memories. I built a bridge with Seth over thirty-five years; it was a work of art. It takes more courage than I realized to risk starting over, building bridges again, with other people. The cynical part of me tells me to get over the idea that words can console me, empower me, connect me. But the part of me that daydreams and hopes and tells stories carries on, uncertainly, toward the bridge. KATHI THOMAS ROSEN, Writing Your Grief student, on the death of her husband, Seth