I’m often asked what to do when a friend or family member seems to be “stuck” in their grief. My response is always the same: “What would ‘not being stuck’ look like to you? What are your expectations?” For most people, “not being stuck” means that the person has gone back to work, regained their sense of humor, attends social events, doesn’t cry every day, and is able to talk about things other than their loss or their grief. They seem . . . happy again. We think “happy” is the equivalent of “healthy.” As though happiness were the baseline, the norm to which all things settle, when we’re
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