Of course people want to make you feel better—it’s part of being human: We want to take away what hurts. We want to help. We want to be helped. We want things from each other we should be able to give. But instead of feeling held and comforted, many grieving people feel shamed, shunned, and dismissed. Instead of feeling effective and useful, those trying to help feel unwanted, frustrated, and unappreciated. No one gets what they want.
