It’s so much harder to say, “This sucks, and there’s nothing I can do. But I’m here, and I love you,” rather than offer those standard words of comfort. It’s so much harder, and so much more useful, loving, and kind. You can’t heal someone’s pain by trying to take it away from them. Acknowledgment of pain is a relief. How much softer this all becomes when we are allowed to tell the truth. In his essay “The Gift of Presence, the Perils of Advice,” author and educator Parker Palmer writes, “The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed—to be seen,
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