definition then, there is absolutely no point in time when you will “recover” from such a loss. And that makes it tricky. If there is no “healing” in terms of being as good as new, if we can’t “recover” any more than someone who has lost their legs can simply will them to grow back, how do we go on? In order to live well with grief—in order to live alongside grief—I think we need new terms. I don’t want time to heal me. There’s a reason I’m like this. I want time to set me ugly and knotted with loss of you. CHINA MIÉVILLE, The Scar
