worse—simply not the same. We need to be careful that we don’t exclude anyone’s grief. We all deserve to be heard in our grief, no matter what that grief may be. At the same time, we can’t assign equal weight to all losses and successfully support someone in pain. Making no distinction between levels of grief does not support the griever. It’s also true that after a certain point, comparisons become useless. Is it worse to lose a child or to lose a partner? Sudden death or long illness? Suicide or murder? Babies die. Children get cancer. Lovers drown. Earthquakes open the seemingly solid
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