When someone tries to alleviate your pain by sharing their own story of suffering, know that they are attempting to connect and relate. And know that there is a reason it feels so crappy: they aren’t actually connecting. They’re unintentionally turning the focus away from you and onto their own stories of pain. Your reality is erased, which is exactly the opposite of what they’d hoped to do. It then sets up this “my grief is worse than yours” dichotomy that leaves everyone feeling unheard and dismissed. Comparison doesn’t work for anyone.
