My most intense moments of rather-be-dead feelings usually came while I was driving on the highway. What kept my hands on the wheel in those cannot-care-about-myself moments was knowing I did not want to create another me. I kept driving, or stopped driving, because I did not want to risk harming someone else. I would not chance creating another widow. I did not want to mess up someone else’s life, or cause anyone else any pain, by creating an accident scene they had to clean up. Not wanting to create more pain for someone else was a strong enough motivation to make safer choices.
Tempting feeling. I know.
