What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You

by Kerri L. Richardson

Her inner critic was sabotaging her progress not because she didn’t want to move, but because there were unaddressed fears. When Samantha took the courageous step of asking her siblings for help, her critic felt supported and stepped aside as Samantha cleared the garage.

The best way to handle your critic, no matter how persistent or bratty she gets, is with love and compassion. When you join forces instead of fighting against her, there’s no stopping you. You become a powerful team! To best partner with your critic, you need to focus on well-defined steps. “Winging it” doesn’t work for her. She is easily distracted, and therefore so are you. Eliminate as many distractions as possible and work within the parameters you set. To help her get comfortable with change, take things in super small steps. If you find yourself procrastinating, break down the action you’re trying to do; chances are it’s still too big for your critic. She needs evidence that she’ll be safe to get on board, so don’t expect her to take big leaps out of the gate.

Each time you get ready to sort physical clutter or take steps to address emotional clutter, take a couple of minutes to check in with your resistance and see what’s going on. Oftentimes, that check-in is all you need to remove the current block.

No positive, long-standing change comes from a self-punitive place.

By holding a loving space for your worried thoughts instead of letting them rule the roost, you teach yourself that you are your safe place, and over time, you’ll notice it’s easier to calm your mind and feel more centered.

He hadn’t realized how much those tools were telling him who he “should” be instead of who he truly was. So along with the tools, he let go of that false image of himself. And in doing so, he opened space in his life to focus on who he truly wanted to be—a minimalist sharing his vision with the world.

Listen up! Keep an ear out for resistant and negative messages that come up, and jot them down. Giving them a voice quiets them more quickly than avoiding or ignoring them, and it saps them of their power. It also helps you see what’s really behind the piles or drains.

Pay attention to when you’re tempted to throw in the towel. What’s coming up for you in that moment? What’s your inner voice saying? How can you address her rebellion? What does she need?

While your inner critic needs love, patience, and support, she also needs to know you’ll be the one in charge of navigating this unknown. She needs you to show her it’s your job to figure out the next steps and when you should ask for help. Only after you demonstrate your ability will she start to believe that you can handle whatever comes your way.

This is learning to trust myself.

Your inner critic, no matter how tough she may seem, is not equipped to deal with negative feedback. Answering her questions yourself or getting support from a friend or coach shows her you’re willing to do what it takes to strengthen your self-confidence and let go of what others think. She’ll feel heard and taken care of, and as a result she’ll be less likely to stand in your way as you go after your goals.

You’re here, and you want to be there. Trying to speed from start to finish is the quickest way to set yourself up to fail. If you want to cross the chasm, you’ve got to build a bridge. The fastest and most sustainable way to get to the finish line is by taking consistent, small steps. Use the Pomodoro Technique.

If there is something you didn’t wear that doesn’t have a particular purpose yet you struggle with letting it go, take a few moments to ask yourself what motivates you to keep it.

If you’re tempted to keep something because you might need it someday, ask yourself, “Why do I really want to keep this?” Pay attention to the first answer that pops up.

If you find yourself up against a similar wall, use it as an opportunity to step back, check in, and see what’s really going on.

Your inner critic is still learning to trust you, so it’s critical that you break down steps way more than you think you need to.