What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You

by Kerri L. Richardson

As I sorted through items, I asked myself some questions to gain clarity. Things like: Does this item represent who I am now? If I saw this in a store today, would I buy it? What feelings are triggered by this item? Guilt? Dread? Excitement? Do I use or display this item?

Clutter clogs up more than floors, tables, and closets. It blocks abundance. It suffocates dreams. It dims your light.

We think the problem is not having enough space for our stuff, when in fact it’s that we have too much stuff for our space.

Clutter is a roadblock to abundance in all its forms. Whether it’s physical clutter that is frustrating you or emotional clutter that limits your thinking, if you don’t have space in your life and mind, the universe can’t send you the goods.

When the clutter of negative thoughts, blocking beliefs, and piles of stuff surround you, it’s nearly impossible to see better options or creative solutions to overcoming life’s obstacles. Even the smallest amount of physical clutter can cause an energetic hoarding situation. The channels through which you and the universe communicate become narrower and narrower, making it difficult for things to ever feel like they’re going your way. Open those channels by handling even a little bit of clutter, and you’ll find yourself in the flow.

The universe and your spiritual team are always at the ready to support you, but they need to be invited in. Opening space in your life sends that invitation.

Clutter is not out to sabotage you. It’s out to get your attention. It wants to show you where you’re tripping yourself up or running in circles so you can work on the real obstacle instead of wasting time on the stuff. When you look at clutter this way, you’ll be able to be more understandi...

Clutter is a temper tantrum of the soul, and it’s time to listen closely to what it’s saying.

Clearing clutter is about getting rid of anything that is no longer a fit for your life. It is about creating space for true fulfillment and joy and welcoming in the universal abundance that is waiting for you.

Some of your clutter has accumulated because of ineffective systems, but it all has an emotional component. When you explore what that component is, you reveal incredible insights into why you aren’t accomplishing your goals and how you’re getting in your own way over and over again.

Clutter has a lot to tell you about what’s off-balance in your life. It’s like a flashing arrow pointing to the areas that need attention. Identify an aspect of your life that isn’t going the way you’d like, and there will be corresponding clutter.

As we dive deep into the message in the mess, here are some questions to think about: What stops you from clearing your clutter? (Go beyond “I don’t have time.”) What would it mean if it was all gone? (Move past “I’d be relieved.”) If clutter were no longer an obstacle, what would you then have time for? (This might be a professional pursuit, a romantic relationship, or a life dream.) Is there anything about that task, project, or goal that feels intimidating? (Might your clutter be a convenient distraction from pursuing that scary goal?)

You can’t change what you aren’t aware of. Your soul is trying desperately to get your attention. It has something to say and isn’t feeling heard. The message might be a call to action or a cry for help. Either way, stubborn clutter is an indicator of a non-clutter issue.

With all-or-nothing thinking, nothing always wins.

Seeing the papers every day was annoying, but what was bugging him more was the undone task taunting him: facing the fact that he hated the work he was doing and feeling trapped by bills. It wasn’t about the paper clutter at all.

Grab a journal or notebook or open a document on your computer and answer the following questions: What have I dreamed about doing but haven’t taken any or enough action on? What is stopping me from giving that dream more time or attention? What kinds of clutter showed up in my answer to question 2? (Remember, anything that stands in your way is clutter, so think about options for clearing whatever it is.) When answering, let the words flow, pouring out whatever comes to mind. No censoring, no editing, no judging.

Your inner critic is a loving liar.

The combination of listening more deeply to what your soul is telling you and taking small steps to show there’s nothing to be afraid of are keys to clearing the clutter that keeps you stuck. But when you let the resistance prevent you from taking action, you’re telling your fear that it’s right, that it is best to stay stuck. You hand your power over to it and continue running on the hamster wheel of your life, exerting a lot of energy and getting nowhere. The best way to handle your critic, no matter how persistent or bratty she gets, is with love and compassion. When you join forces instead of fighting against her, there’s no stopping you. You become a powerful team!

To best partner with your critic, you need to focus on well-defined steps. “Winging it” doesn’t work for her. She is easily distracted, and therefore so are you. Eliminate as many distractions as possible and work within the parameters you set. To help her get comfortable with change, take things in super small steps. If you find yourself procrastinating, break down the action you’re trying to do; chances are it’s still too big for your critic. She needs evidence that she’ll be safe to get on board, so don’t expect her to take big leaps out of the gate. The other thing she needs is to feel heard—hence the persistent squawking. This part is key. If ever she feels dismissed or ignored, chaos ensues. This chaos can take many shapes—more clutter, a nasty head cold that knocks you down for a week, a distracted mind, aches and pains, a family member or friend telling you not to get rid of this or that, or a sexy invitation for the exact time you had scheduled your clutter clearing—anything that will stop you in your tracks and throw a wrench in your clutter-clearing plans so she can continue on her merry way and not have her status quo disrupted.

The first clutter you may need to clear is your resistance. Sit with it. Journal about it. Speak to someone safe. Give it a voice. This is what helps her settle down.

Revisit an area of clutter that is giving you trouble. Bring along a notebook or journal. Set a timer for 10 minutes and answer this question: “What is it about this clutter that I find it so difficult to sort through?” Then let it flow. Just let whatever wants to come out come out. When you’re finished, take a few deep breaths to get centered, then read what you’ve just written. Read it with empathy. Read it with kindness and understanding. Let your inner critic know that you’re right there with her. After some loving reassurance, revisit the clutter and see if it feels any different.

Neglect emotional clutter and you’ll see how quickly it turns into physical clutter. For example, when you tolerate unhealthy relationships or agree to every request that comes your way, you become so drained that common household maintenance is neglected. Your outer world reflects your inner world; when there’s internal unrest, it shows up in your environment.

Whether it’s clothes in the back of your bedroom wardrobe that represent a happier or healthier time in your life or the junk-collecting closet that reflects old hobbies or goals, out of sight is never out of mind with clutter.

Hidden clutter is an energy drain that is always calling for your attention, and it becomes fuel for your inner critic to squawk about what you should be doing.

The clutter that ends up on a tabletop is often the kind that an organizational system can handle effectively. For example, piles of mail can be eradicated by creating a routine of sorting it when you pick it up, discarding what you don’t need and finding a home for what you do. Overtly visible clutter is a loud-and-clear message that something needs your attention. By ignoring it, you send yourself the message that you’re not a priority.

A cluttered desk could also speak to a blocking belief about money. Do you judge those who have more than you? Do you fear others will resent you should your bank balance increase?

The attic, or clutter’s graveyard, as I like to call it, can contain the most ties to the past, holding you back from moving forward. Maybe you’re keeping heirlooms out of guilt, or your child’s baby clothes in hope of clinging to those precious years. Much of what is in your attic is likely getting in the way of your advancing on your soul’s journey.

It can be incredibly difficult to forgive someone who you feel wronged you. And you shouldn’t feel that by doing so you’re saying what the person did is okay. Forgiveness, in fact, is more for yourself than anyone else. It’s about setting yourself free from the situation and no longer ruminating about it so you can move on with your life.

There’s nothing that will clutter your mind faster than a ticker tape of negative thoughts and worry. Excessive worrying indicates a strong discomfort with feeling out of control. By obsessing over the what-ifs, you can fool yourself into believing you’ll be prepared for whatever comes along; however, as the saying goes, “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” By holding a loving space for your worried thoughts instead of letting them rule the roost, you teach yourself that you are your safe place, and over time, you’ll notice it’s easier to calm your mind and feel more centered. Now, it’s time to look at the specific clutter within these hot spots to clarify the message even further. You’ll find these items have some things of their own to say.

If you don’t love it, need it, or use it, it’s clutter.

Go take a look in your closet or dresser. See if you can find five items you haven’t worn for six months or more. Now ask yourself why you keep the piece of clothing. Is it a just-in-case item? Does it remind you of a happy time? Do you still love it?

If you have magazines that are piling up for “someday reading,” think about what that pile really represents. If it’s nothing more than “I spent the money, so I should read them,” into the recycling bin they go. And no, you don’t have to go through them beforehand. If they’ve been sitting there for 3, 6, or 24 months, there’s nothing in there that you can’t live without. Keep this month’s and last month’s issues. But all the others? Gone.

If you don’t love these items enough to use them or display them, they’re clutter. If the items mean a lot to you, honor them. If they’ve been sitting in a box in your basement for the last five years, they can’t mean that much to you. Reevaluate their worth to you and either say good-bye or make them a part of your life.

What is your number one clutter hot spot? What stops you from clearing it? What is one step you could take to make some progress on opening that space? Schedule a time and commit to taking that action! Listen up! Keep an ear out for resistant and negative messages that come up, and jot them down. Giving them a voice quiets them more quickly than avoiding or ignoring them, and it saps them of their power. It also helps you see what’s really behind the piles or drains.

Three common threads are: Unrealistic expectations Lack of boundaries Old beliefs

Get this: you can feel the joy and elation of all your clutter being gone by just getting started. That’s because success is in the action, not in the outcome. Pretty cool, eh?

Success is in the action, not the outcome.

Realistic expectations keep your resistance in check and let you celebrate short-term goals to fuel your fire.

When you set boundaries, you teach people how to treat you. You let them know, whether through actions or words, what is okay and what isn’t. These healthy and nurturing parameters help you build trust with yourself by letting in only what you truly want and what serves you best. You also send a clear message to the universe that you’re willing to make yourself a priority.

How do you know if you even need a boundary? Consider the following questions: What am I tolerating in my life? Where do I feel taken advantage of? Whose phone calls do I dread receiving? What or whom would I rather not have to deal with? What am I saying yes to when I really want to say no?

You might say yes when you mean no if: You don’t want to disappoint anyone. You don’t want to risk not being liked. You believe that if people need you, they’ll keep you in their lives. You’d feel selfish saying no. You were taught to put others before yourself.

Over the years, I’ve assigned several clients my Disappointing Challenge, where I ask them to disappoint at least one person each day for two weeks. Yeah, they usually gasp too. This challenge helps you See how many requests come your way. Identify which requests drain your energy or frustrate you. Evaluate the relationships in your life. Reclaim your power and get back in charge of your time. Learn to say no firmly and graciously.

Feelings are to be felt, not fixed.

Listen for the reasons you come up with to convince yourself to say yes when you don’t want to. Chances are they’re false stories you make up so you can avoid feeling uncomfortable about putting your needs first. The solution to that isn’t self-sacrifice. It’s showing yourself that you’ll be fine even when you feel a bit shitty. After all, feelings are to be felt, not fixed.

Make sure your actions support your words. That’s the key to having people respect and adhere to your boundaries.

Just as with any other clutter, consider how this type—draining relationships—might be serving you. There is a payoff to being a doormat, dumping ground, or over-giver—if there wasn’t, you wouldn’t allow it.

Beliefs act like filters in your brain, causing you to view the world in a specific way. Often, they skew the way you see things. They’re created when you’re very young, at a time when you’re new to the planet and looking around, observing the primary people in your life to learn how to navigate the world. You’re learning about what you should and shouldn’t do. Beliefs almost become our manual in life. That is, until we find out later that some (or most) of them aren’t helpful at all. They were formed as survival tools for a child, not an adult.

Because beliefs are such an integral part of who we are, it can be tricky to identify them. A good way to start is to do an inventory of your past. Think back to what types of people surrounded you as a child. In what types of environments were you raised and taught? What was your neighborhood like? Who made up your circle of friends? What did you learn about how the world operates from their behavior, their experiences, and their words? A journal is a great tool to use when doing this inventory. To prompt memories, you can write some short stories starting with things like, “When I was a kid and misbehaved, my father would ________________” or “When I was in school, if I didn’t complete an assignment, my teacher would say ________________.” You can fill in blanks such as, “When I succeeded at something, I was described as ________________,” or “When I didn’t succeed, people said ________________.” Play with the questions and fragments to come up with ones that relate to the area of your life where you’re dealing with a lot of emotional clutter, self-sabotage, or blocks so you can begin to understand what your beliefs are and where they come from. Another way to uncover your blocking beliefs is to listen for “if-then” statements. For example, if you say something like, “If I’m needy, then people won’t like me,” or “If I’m vulnerable, then I’ll be a burden.” That’s a good indication of early programming that has turned into an unhelpful rule. Also, listen for broad or gener...

EXPECTATIONS: Start by emptying your brain. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and in your journal, write down everything that’s on your mind. It can be anything from “Take dog to the groomers,” to “What to get Mom for her birthday,” to “Clean out the linen closet.” The idea is to empty your brain as completely as possible. Next, review what you wrote and categorize the items under three headings: Me: things that only I can do Someone else: things that could be handled by another person No one: things that don’t really need to be done at all

BOUNDARIES: Review your schedule and commitments for the next seven days and evaluate how many of them support the bigger picture of what you want for your life. Note which items you could, theoretically, cancel. Now it’s your turn for the Disappointing Challenge! Yes, for the next two weeks, I want you to intentionally disappoint at least one person a day. I know that feels scary, but it’s important to make that No muscle strong. If the idea of this freaks you out, start with easy letdowns, like waiting a bit longer to return a text or phone call or not participating in the office gift exchange. To get the full benefit of the challenge, however, most of your disappointing needs to be a bit higher risk. Try declining dinner invitations from friends, letting your neighbor know you’re not available to let his dog out, and changing your mind about a commitment you previously agreed to. Look for more ideas in your calendar. This may sound like I’m asking you to be a bad friend, neighbor, or community member, and it might even feel that way, but that’s the point. It will likely feel uncomfortable, but I want you to see that the fear you have about what will happen when you say no is unfounded. People will still love you, and you won’t be forgotten. Accepting this challenge is a testament to your willingness to tear down some old beliefs that have been getting in your way for years. This, combined with the belief-flipping exercise below, will empower you, quiet your inner critic...