The Astonishing Color of After

by Emily X.R. Pan

My mother knew where I was. That’s one of the facts that I still can’t get over.

A lot of the egotism in this book is natural since Leigh is 16. It's about her, and how things effect HER - not her father, or even her mother's cat (which she ignores).

She was being all quiet in that way she has of disagreeing.

She mews some more. Maybe what she’s hungry for isn’t food. Maybe what she wants is my mother.

BTW Leigh being 100% not interested in the new cat was really one of those surprise moments for me. I can't imagine any teen girl not excited to have a pet when she had none before. One of several weird moments in this book (author must also be a cat hater).

If only I could rewind, go back in time and ask my mother every question about every tiny thing. How crucial those little fragments are now; how great their absence. I should have saved them up, gathered them like drops of water in a desert. I’d always counted on having an oasis.

The parts dealing with loss are extremely strong in this book and redeems it.

Did we love her wrong?

Believing is a type of magic. It can make something true.