The Water is Wide

by Pat Conroy

My pre-Yamacraw theory of teaching held several sacred tenets, among these being that the teacher must always maintain an air of insanity, or of eccentricity out of control, if he is to catch and hold the attention of his students.

My tactics were different. I concentrated on variety as the primary method. Sweet talk, Shakespearean monologues, Marine Corps brutality, prayers—anything that could possibly inflame the imagination, even momentarily, of someone imprisoned in my classroom all day.

“They don’t know any better. They are happy this way.” Yet all around me, in the grinning faces of my students, I could see a crime, so ugly that it could be interpreted as a condemnation of an entire society, a nation be damned, a history of wickedness—these children before me did not have a goddam chance of sharing in the incredible wealth and affluence of the country that claimed them, a country that failed them, a country that needed but did not deserve deliverance.

And in that instant was born the terrible awareness that life eventually broke every man, but in different ways and at different times. I saw Mr. Randel’s strong face loosen up at the seams and melt from strength to horror. I saw his face at the moment he surrendered his son to the earth, when his loss was driven like a nail into his soul, when he understood that his oldest son was dead and that nothing would ever be the same again. The sinew of Mr. Randel’s face relaxed, his jaw grew slack, and grief spread along his face like a rash. It was like watching a second death.

and finally, received a valuable lesson in survival from him. I learned that politicians are not supposed to help people. They simply listen to people, nod their heads painfully, commiserate at proper intervals, promise to do all they can, and then do nothing. It was very instructive. I could probably have enlisted more action from a bleached jellyfish washed ashore in a seasonal storm.

Teaching is a record of failures. But the glory of teaching is in the attempt.