What Does This Button Do?: An Autobiography

by Bruce Dickinson

Bullying happens because weak people need to prop up their ego by beating up or humiliating others.

If auditioning disciples was like auditioning guitarists then no wonder Jesus ascended to heaven.

‘There are two types of producer,’ he said. ‘One type thinks that it’s his record, and he’s going to make a hit record that will sell shitloads and everyone will say he is a great producer.’ He sipped his beer and looked around the bar with disdain. ‘And then there are producers who are just a mirror. We reflect the artist in the best way to let their message, their sound, come through.’

The interpersonal chemistry required to sustain a global rock group over many decades is nothing short of a miracle. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians; all Indians and no chiefs; one chief and rebellious Indians; stupid chief and clever Indians: all are doomed to fail. The temperature of the porridge has got to be just right.

In later years I discovered the Japanese expression often used in schools to describe an individual who was overly individualistic: ‘The nail that stands up is always hammered down.’

We have forgotten how to be babies, to our eternal shame, but they make the most extraordinary noises, as anyone trapped on an aeroplane with one for several hours will testify. The vocal power that comes out of that tiny package is remarkable. Rock stars, of course, have long had the capacity to act like babies but have not had the sense to sing like them.

Sometimes, though, everyone needs a little guidance, unless, of course, you are the Pope, because then you can always ask God, and he’s never wrong, right?

Be afraid and be scared, but panic will kill you, not fear.

Panic is rarely a solution to anything, so quiet relaxation and patience were the key.

‘What could possibly go wrong?’ Anything. And if it can, it will.

‘Why me?’ Actually, I reasoned, it’s probably just shitty bad luck.

Victory starts with one small step.