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by
Meik Wiking
If we look at the World Happiness Report, there is a four-point happiness gap between the happiest and unhappiest countries, and three points of these four are explained by six factors: togetherness or sense of community, money, health, freedom, trust, and kindness.
The first lesson in happiness research is to distinguish between being happy right now and being happy overall. We call these two states, respectively, the affective dimension and the cognitive dimension.
The affective—or hedonic—dimension examines the emotions people experience on an everyday basis.
In order to look at the cognitive dimension, people have to take a step back and evaluate their lives. How satisfied are you with your life overall? How happy are you in general?
If your days are filled with positive emotions, you are likely to report higher levels of overall life satisfaction. Equally, we can have shitty mornings and still feel we have a wonderful life overall.
To make things a little more complicated, let me introduce a third dimension called eudaemonia. That is the Ancient Greek word for happiness, and it is based on Aristotle’s perception of happiness. To him, the good life was a meaningful and purposeful life.
Perhaps people who are attracted to big cities are more ambitious, and the downside to being ambitious is that you are chronically dissatisfied with the status quo.
That our wealth is not measured by the size of our bank accounts but by the strength
of our bonds, the health of our loved ones, and the level of our gratitude. That happiness does not come from owning a bigger car but from knowing that we are part of something bigger—part of a community—and that we are all in this together.
Make time to eat. Reclaim your lunchtime and sit with friends, family, and colleagues and enjoy eating your food slowly and with company.
And while most countries have official diet recommendations about how many portions of fruit and vegetables we should eat per day, one of the official recommendations in France is that you should eat with other people. That is one thing we could all aspire to do more frequently.
It’s all about knowing that happiness does not come from owning a bigger car but from knowing that everybody you know and love will be supported in their time of need. What works well in the Nordic countries is an understanding of the link between the good life and the common good. We are not paying taxes; we are purchasing quality of life. We are investing in our community.
find that people who reduce their consumption of social media are happier and connect more in the real world.
Encourage your friends and family to have tech-free periods during the week, avoid the temptation to check your phone, and detox digitally.
Like most things, the more we have of something, the less happiness we derive from it. The first slice of cake: awesome. The fifth slice: not so good. Economists call this the law of diminishing marginal utility.
This is the hedonic treadmill. We continuously raise the bar for what we want or feel we need in order to be happy—and the hedonic treadmill spins faster with ambition. In other words, the downside to being ambitious is a constant sense of dissatisfaction with our achievements.
Take time to enjoy the journey toward your goal while also being mindful that achieving your goal will not fulfill you completely.
People on a quest for something they find meaningful—whether that is building a boat or growing the perfect tomato—tend to be happier; they know that happiness is the by-product of the process and not a pot of gold at the finish line.
George Loewenstein, professor in economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University and director of the Center for Behavioral Decision Research,
HAPPINESS TIP: PAY NOW, CONSUME LATER If you buy an experience, make sure that it is well into the future, so you can look forward to it.
we not only care about our ability to consume, we also care about our position in the social hierarchy.
the Law of Jante,
Epictetus once said that wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants.
New School for Social Research
Journal of Applied Social Psychology,
Ruby Receptionists has been named the number-one small company to work for in the US by Fortune magazine. When a new employee starts there, they are handed a “Smile File” and asked to write down every nice comment they receive from coworkers, clients, and their bosses. Why? Because people remember criticism far better than praise. It is an inexpensive approach we can apply in our personal lives to become more aware of the things that we do have, instead of focusing on what we don’t.
First, while money matters, it is not all that matters. Second, it is not only about how much money we make, it is also about what we do with the money we have. The most successful countries in the twenty-first century will be those that most efficiently turn wealth into well-being—and this also applies to the individual.
Finally, when it comes to money and happiness, while money may reduce misery and thus cause higher levels of life satisfaction, the reverse relationship—that happiness may lead to a higher income—may also be true.
Across cultures, there seems to be one thing that all parents wish for their children: good health. Good health enables us to play, to seek out adventures, to pursue happiness.
The medical literature has found high correlations between various low well-being scores and subsequent coronary heart disease, strokes, and length of life. Individuals with higher positive affect have better neuroendocrine, inflammatory, and cardiovascular activity. Those with higher positive affect are less likely to catch a cold when exposed to a cold virus and recover faster if they do.
Andrew Steptoe, professor of psychology and head of the Research Department of Behavioral Science and Health at the Institute of Epidemiology and Health Care at University College London (UCL), and Jane Wardle, professor in clinical psychology at the Health Behavior Research Center, also at UCL.
Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhism, where the belief is that the human pursuit of everlasting happiness leads to suffering. We feel pain because nothing lasts. Mindfulness is about being present. Right here, right now, in this moment, and being loving and kind to yourself. Whereas our thoughts usually revolve around the future or the past, mindfulness is all about the present moment.
On mentalhealth.gov (you’ll find it under the US Department of Health and Human Services), there is a lot of advice if you need to start a conversation with a friend or family member about mental health.
The index looks at classical rights like freedom of movement, assembly, expression, and so on, but has more than seventy indicators, including autonomy of religious organizations, freedom of media content, the treatment of same-sex relationships, divorce, and equal inheritance rights.
FIVE WAYS TO FREE UP YOUR TIME COOK MORE THAN YOU NEED: Cook a bigger portion of a meal on the weekend than you will eat at one sitting, and freeze the leftovers to provide meals on other days.
USE SLACK TIME: Make use of the time you spend waiting throughout the day—two minutes here; five minutes there. Set yourself up to make use of these time “leftovers.” Decide beforehand what you want to spend this time doing. I spend mine on Duolingo to improve my Spanish—and since you now have started flirting with the idea of moving to Italy, why not learn a few Italian words? Va bene?
TWO IN ONE: Instead of choosing between, for example, socializing and exercising, you may be able to combine them. Go for a run with your buddy, play Frisbee, go mountain biking in the woods.
TIE YOURSELF TO THE MAST: In The Odyssey, Odysseus asks to be tied to the mast, in order not to give in to the temptation of the Sirens. Today, we need to find something that helps us to steer clear of time stealers like Facebook. Most people wish they spent less time browsing the Internet or looking at Facebook, and apps like Freedom help you to do this, preventing you from using the Internet for up to eight hours.
APPLY PARKINSON’S LAW: You are likely to be more efficient if you have less time. If your spouse’s parents call and say they are dropping by in fifteen minutes, no doubt you manage to clean the house super-efficiently. According to Cyril Northcote Parkinson, British historian and author, “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” To come at this from a different angle, schedule when you have to start a task—and when you have to finish it.
We tried it at the Happiness Research Institute. For us, it didn’t work to have a full day, or even an afternoon, when we couldn’t talk to one another, so we modified it and introduced daily “creative zones.” Two hours of uninterrupted time to get stuff that needed full concentration done.
Start a conversation at work about the ways in which flexibility and autonomy might improve employee satisfaction and productivity.
Employee of the week is far from a new invention, but this model is a little different, because the flowers are not given to the employee who has done the best job but to the colleague who has praised others. If Jørgen has done a great job and Sigrid has told the boss about how well he’s done, Sigrid will receive the flowers.
Perhaps Mark Twain said it best: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
The researchers distinguished between “popular fiction” (where the author leads you by the hand as a reader) and “literary fiction” (in which you must find your own way and fill in the gaps). Instead of being told why a certain character behaves as they do, you have to figure it out yourself. That way, the book becomes not just a simulation of a social experience, it is a social experience.
FIVE WAYS TO ENCOURAGE EMPATHY IN KIDS 1. WALK AND NARRATE: Go for a walk and look for someone in a gray jacket (or whatever you decide). Once you have identified such a person, spend the rest of the walk talking about what you imagine their life is like, based on how they look. 2. DRAW: Draw a face in the middle of a sheet of paper expressing joy, anger, sorrow, or some other emotion, then draw what would make the person feel like that. 3. PLAY: “Feeling of the Week”: Select a feeling, draw or write it on a Post-it, and stick it on the fridge. Then, all week, ask your
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In fact, according to the authors of the study, the presence of first class has the same or an even bigger effect on the odds of air rage as a nine-and-a-half-hour flight delay. But it is not only the economy passengers who are behaving badly. When people from a higher social class are more aware of their upper-class status, they are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior, to be less compassionate, and to feel that they are entitled. Or, to use the scientific term for individuals engaging in antisocial behavior: “assholes.”
“If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap. If you want happiness for a day—go fishing. If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime—help someone else.”
The point is that, sometimes, there is no reason to ask if someone needs help—so just help.
I think there should be a word for “the joy of complaining,” so let’s invent one: Beschwerdefreude. Obviously, it has to be in German, a language that has not only given us words like Weltschmerz (literal meaning, “world pain”; sadness caused by the state of the world) and Schadenfreude (joy experienced when others are suffering) but also has a word for a present you give as an apology (Drachenfutter—literally, “dragon fodder”) and the feeling you get when you are getting older and fear that opportunities are slipping away (Torschlusspanik), and Kopfkino (literally, “head cinema”; the act of
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In her study “Brilliant but Cruel,” Teresa Amabile, a professor at Harvard Business School, asked people to evaluate the intelligence of book reviewers using reviews taken from the New York Times. Professor Amabile changed the reviews slightly, creating two different versions: one positive and one negative. She made only small changes in terms of the actual words, for example, changing “inspired” to “uninspired” and “capable” to “incapable.”
