Gorilla and the Bird: A Memoir of Madness and a Mother's Love
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“You are weak right now, so weak that you need to hear about how marvelous I’ve known you to be since you were born; how unconditionally and attentively I’ve loved you since you got here; how I’ve had your back since day one, saw a truth teller where everyone else saw a little smart-ass.
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Yet I went to bat for you against everyone and everything, even when I should have let you face the music, because I see you, who you are, what you are. And you won’t be facing this music alone either. This is just another chapter of The Book of Zachary I’ve been taking notes on and writing in my head for twenty-six years.”
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Things had never been easy for her: first a drunk for a father, then a cokehead for a husband, then a tyrant for a second husband. Poor the whole time, buying nothing for herself, putting every dollar and every ounce of energy into her children. Mac ’n’ cheese, borrowed margarine, $3 in the gas tank. Doing it all alone with a constant headache and constant anxiety about how we’d make it.
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“Gorilla, you and I been through the fire with gasoline-soaked drawers on. And we’re still standing. Now get your hairy ass back to New York and stay out of my garage.”